Doug's Place on the Web

Quick & Easy: Summer Salad

An easy summer salad with an interesting combination of hearts of romaine, Vidalia onion, creole tomato, fresh basil, black olive and feta cheese. Tossed with a flavorful balsamic vinaigrette dressing, it's perfect alongside grilled steaks and barbecue meats, or topped with sliced grilled chicken breast for a meal unto itself.

1 large heart of romaine lettuce
1 large creole tomato
8-10 leaves fresh basil
1/2 medium Vidalia onion
1/4 cup sliced black olives
1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/3 cup Newman's Own© Balsamic Vinaigrette salad dressing

Separate romaine into individual leaves and, after washing and patting dry, split each lengthwise. Then slice crosswise into 1" wide ribbons. Chop tomato into 16 pieces and remove seeds. Thinly slice onion and chop rings into approximately 1 to 2" pieces. Roll up and slice basil leaves crosswise into 1/8" ribbons. Toss all in a large non-reactive bowl with the sliced olives and the balsamic vinaigrette dressing until well-mixed and thoroughly coated. Top with crumbled feta to taste just before serving (about 1 tablespoon for a side salad, twice that for a dinner salad).

Recipe makes 4-6 side salads or 2 generous dinner salads.

Quick Pickling

It's been so hot this summer, the tomato crop is virtually non-existent. On the other hand, the cucumbers are coming one after the other. After trying a few quick pickle recipes-- not interested in full-blown canning, really-- and not producing anything very remarkable, I found one that I think works really well.

Actually, if I hadn't offered to trade some of my cucumber bounty to the local organic nursery for some okra, I would have probably never found this recipe, from Martha Stewart, of all places. I made a few minor modifications in the technique, but the ingredients are virtually the same, and it can be easily adapted to other flavoring variations. We'll start with the okra.

Fresh okra is great, but has a very short harvest window. If you're growing your own-- and it's not difficult to do so in the right climate-- you may want to harvest them at a slightly smaller size than what you usually see at the supermarket in order to guarantee they'll be edible. You want them about 4-5 inches long, but if you wait even a day or two to try and let them get a little larger, they'll become tough, fibrous, and essentially useless for anything but the compost bin. Ironically-- depending on sun and rainfall conditions-- faster-growing pods may be tender at a larger size than slower-growing smaller pods. If you're not sure about a pod, check the tip-- if it's rubbery and flexible, the pod should be tender and edible. If a pod is at all difficult to slice, it's probably is too late to use it.

Here's the (slightly modified) recipe:

Quick Pickled Okra

1 lb. fresh okra, halved lengthwise
6 T. coarse kosher salt
1 medium onion
3 cups white vinegar (5% acidity)
2 cups water
2 T. sugar or granular Splenda
1 T. pickling spices
2 bay leaves
1/4 t. red (cayenne) pepper

Place okra in a non-reactive bowl (glass or plastic) or a plastic collander, and add 3 T. of the salt. Toss to distribute salt evenly. Set aside to drain for 10-15 minutes. Discard any liquid.

Halve onion lengthwise and slice into half-inch thick slices.

In a non-reactive saucepan, bring the vinegar, water, onion, spices, cayenne, sugar, the remaining 3 T. salt and the bay leaves to a slow boil. Rinse okra under cool running water and place in a heat-resistant dish (like a 2.5 qt. Pyrex casserole). Pour boiled brine over okra to cover and let cool to room temperature. Chill thoroughly before serving. Pickled okra may be transferred to another suitable container (glass or plastic) for storage in the refrigerator for 2-3 weeks.

This recipe is also good for pickling fresh string beans. If I have some blanched ones hanging around, I add them to the okra batch for a little variety. Strips of fresh red bell pepper or fresh pimiento are also a welcome addition.

The spices can be modified for kosher dill pickles by halving the sugar, adding 1 T. dill weed and a couple cloves of finely chopped fresh garlic to the brine. Slice longer cucumbers in half before cutting them in quarters for spears (sixths or eighths if a larger variety like Straight 8s).

Drip Irrigation

Watering the plants-- you gotta do it, no matter what. No water, no garden. It would be nice if rainfall was predictable and regular enough to let nature handle things, but it just ain't always so. Garden irrigation can be a real pain-- if you water manually, you can't forget to do it, especially during the heat of summer. You don't want to under or over-water, and different plants have different requirements in order to do their best. One solution is to set up a low-volume or "drip" irrigation system. Using low-pressure tubing and dripper or sprayer heads, you can tailor your system to serve a variety of plants. Plants that need more can be supplied by adjustable drippers or spray heads; plants that need less can be supplied by fixed drippers that supply as little as one gallon per hour.

I found a lot of cool stuff by a manufacturer called Mr. Landscaper© that covers so many bases in low-volume irrigation, it's hard to fathom what else you could possibly need to handle your garden and plant watering needs.

I did find one thing, however, and it really completes the whole setup. It's the Orbit Sunmate Automatic Yard Watering System©. Although it's aimed at high-volume lawn use, it's wide range of operating pressures-- from 10 to 80psi-- allows its adaptation to low-volume irrigation quite nicely.

The starter kit consists of 4 pieces: a digital multi-station, multi-cycle timer/controller, two electronic station valves, and a 4-outlet brass manifold. Mounting hardware is also supplied. It sells for around $40, which is a great deal, considering the manifold itself costs about $14 if you bought it separately. The controller can run a total of four valves, of which extras can be had for around $15. As a bonus, the controller and valves carry a six-year warranty.

You start by programming the watering duration of each valve or "station". Additionally, up to four "on" times or "cycles" can be set. Although you can't stagger the cycles of individual stations, the wide range of watering durations allows the amount of water to each type of outlet to be determined. For example, even though your drippers and sprayers will come on at the same time(s) each day, the drippers connected to one station could be set to run for up to 99 minutes while, at the same time, the sprayers connected to another station could be set to run as little as 1 minute. This allows for a great deal of flexibility.

My current setup features one station which controls the outlets on a length of 1/2" drip irrigation pipe. A combination of high-flow drippers and spray heads run for 90 minutes twice a day on a raised bed garden containing squash, tomatoes, basil, eggplant, peppers and ginger. Incoming water pressure on this station is controlled by a 25psi regulator in order to prevent the 1/4" spaghetti lines from blowing off the connectors.

A second station's outlet is fitted with a reducer/restrictor to feed a long length of 1/4" spaghetti hose which branches out at its end to a number of 1gph drippers that are mounted on standard 10x20" seedling trays. This station runs for 7 minutes at a time twice a day-- enough to keep about 1/2" of water on the bottoms of the trays most of the time, even on 90°-plus days. Pots in the trays soak up the water from below as needed. This works great for a variety of uses, including outdoor germination and growing starts until they are ready to be transplanted into the garden. Certainly some herbs could even be left to term in this setup.

I've recently purchased two additional station valves to max out the system, and am looking forward to an excuse to utilize them in the near future.

The Orbit system (#62032) and extra valves (#62035) are available at The Home Depot; a full range of Mr. Landscaper products are featured at Lowe's.

Vermi-Composting

Feel bad every time you look in the refrigerator vegetable crisper bins and find stuff going to rot? There's a gardening bright side to this dilemma, and it's called vermi-composting.

What's that, you ask? It's actually nothing more than a fancy term for composting using worms. It's easy, and is probably one of the best things you can do for almost all your plants.

Worm castings, as they are called (conjuring up images of industrious little worms gracefully "casting" their... well... their "worm poo"), are one of the most nutrient-rich forms of organic fertilizer you can use. All you need is a dark-colored, covered-but-vented bin, some kitchen scraps, some moistened shredded up newspaper, and a pound or so of worms.

Not just any worms, mind you, but a couple of particular species that excel at producing this gardener's black gold. The most common species used are the red wiggler (eisenia foetida) or the so-called European nightcrawler (eisenia hortensis), with the red wiggler being the most popular. The Euros are a bit bigger, and reportedly don't produce quite as fine a final product, but, if they're all you can get, should work just as well.

A dark-colored bin is best, since the worms don't like light. Some ventilation is mandatory, and a method of drainage is also useful. You could use a plastic tote bin, found nearly everywhere, to start vermi-composting. Poke a few dozen holes in the lid with a very small nail-- worms can squeeze through holes as small as 1/16 of an inch. Do the same around the perimeter of the bin about 2" up from the bottom. Place a thick layer-- 6 inches or more-- of shredded moistened newspaper in the bottom. Not too wet or packed too tight-- make it a bit fluffy, and none of the shiny slick stuff-- and then add your worms. They will immediately burrow down into the newspaper to get away from the light. Add some vegetable scraps from the kitchen, cover them with a few layers of wetted newspaper (not shredded), and put on the lid. Check under the newspaper every few days to see the worms' progress, adding more food scraps only as necessary. Add some more moistened torn-up newspaper from time to time, too-- they'll eat it as well. Don't have a paper shredder? Let your worms help prevent identity theft by feeding them your last month's credit card statement-- with today's soy-based inks, your worms will devour it with no problem. Ultimately, your worms will eat half their weight in food every day!

A word about kitchen scraps: Vegetable or fruit peelings, coffee grounds, tea bags, stale cereal are all fine. No meats, fats, bones, or dairy products. Some say no onions or garlic as these have an antibiotic effect on the beneficial microbes in the compost. Others say go light on citrus rinds, as the the worms don't like the acidity. Your worms will like you more if you chop up their food somewhat before adding it to the bin-- it will make their work easier and faster. For tougher scraps, like broccoli stems, go ahead and cook them with the people part of the food, and then pluck out the worms' share before serving. Also, be ready for a surprise if you put vegetable seeds in your bin-- they'll germinate and sprout like crazy in this dark, moist, fertile environment.

If you can, provide some kind of drain in the bottom of your bin, even if it's only a hole with a cork in it. Moisture will work its way down and collect in the bottom. Draining it has several benefits. One, you won't have any drowned worms-- unlikely, but possible. Second, the liquid that you drain out isn't trash, it's the liquid form of this gardener's black gold-- worm tea. It will be very concentrated-- you can add a mere few ounces of it to a gallon of water, and it will still be darker than strong coffee. Give all your plants a treat while you wait for the worms to finish their work. In a ten gallon tote bin, you can even safely add about a quart of water a week to help create more tea without seriously affecting the worms. Just don't forget to drain it out and use it. If there's more than you can use up, keep it in a jug with a hole punched in the cap, so the beneficial microbes therein can breath.

Keep your bin in a relatively cool location out of direct sunlight if kept outside. A garage or basement are also good spots. You can even keep it in your kitchen if you want-- it has no unpleasant odor whatsoever (unless you perpetually over-feed). At most, your bin should have a subtle, natural, earthy aroma.

Once your compost is ready, it's time to harvest it. How do you know it's ready? Like regular compost, you won't be able to discern any of the materials you put in the bin originally. Nothing will look like paper or kitchen scraps or tea bags at all.

How do you harvest it if it's still full of worms? Simple. One way is to only feed them on one side of the bin. The worms will move to that side to feed, leaving the other side virtually worm-free. Another way is to spread out sheets of newspaper on a table. Gently scoop out baseball-sized mounds of compost and place them in rows on the newspaper. Turn on a bright light directly overhead. The worms will move downward in the mounds, and you will be able to brush or scoop off the tops of the mounds a little at a time as they do.

The bin described above will produce plenty of worm compost and worm tea for the average gardener or plant keeper, but, if you prefer a more elegant solution, there are products like the Can-O-Worms Composting Bin. It has a vented base, a vented cover, and three trays which are used in rotation. You start with a single covered tray sitting in the bottom section, and feed the worms until the compost fills the tray up to a certain level. Then you add another tray, and put some newspaper-covered food in it. The worms move up to the upper tray as they finish composting their food and bedding in the lower tray through hundreds of worm-size holes. The bottom section even has an island for worms who fall through the bottom tray to get out of the collecting liquid and back up into the trays. A handy drain with a valve is provided to dispense worm tea. A starter block of bedding is included-- about the size of a large brick, it expands to almost 4 gallons in volume when water is added. The worms, if not available locally, can be mail ordered from worm farms all over the country. Keep them happy, and they will make vermi-compost-- and lots more worms-- for years to come.

Raised Bed Garden

Not abandoning hydroponics by any means, I decided to try to go organic this season with a raised bed. I built mine 2 ft. by 12 ft. to go along the edge of a patio.

Construction, after a bit of design brainstorming, was fairly straightforward, and I was filling it up with soil in about an hour and a half.

I used 6'x5.5"x5/8" cedar fenceboards. Corners are pressure treated 12" 2x4s screwed perpendicular to 12" 2x6s. Bottoms of 2x6s have 3/8" holes drilled 5" deep into which 12" 3/8" re-bar is inserted. These will serve to stake the box to the ground. Due to the 12 ft. length, center supports made of 12" 2x6s, again with the re-bar, tie the 6 ft. sections together in the middle. There's some very minor bowing at the middle, so I may or may not add something across the top, front to back, to pull it in line. 1-1/4" galvanized screws attach ends of cedar boards to insides of corners and center connectors, 1" down from tops of corner pieces so another layer can be stacked on top later if desired. 6 mil plastic sheeting lines the inside walls, but not the bottom-- two layers of heavy cardboard are laid out in the bottom to shut out the grass. Photos here.

The local organic nursery delivered a yard and a half of organic garden mix in a super sack. Really nice stuff, and with the surplus, I'll have enough to beef up the beds in front of the house and fill another 6x6 foot raised bed . Plus, I have the compost pile going since last summer, and a worm bin that puts out some really good stuff for fertilizer.

Let's Build A Light Stand

Since my fall growing season pretty much got blown out of the water by recent catastrophic weather events, I decided to look ahead towards spring and start making preparations to be ahead of the game for once. To that end, I took the high intensity compact fluorescent light fixture I bought (last year) and constructed a stand for it. Now it can be put to use starting all my spring seedlings. A quick trip to the Home Improvement Center was all it took...

For this project, you will need:

(1) Lights of America model 9266 65-watt Compact Fluorescent Floodlight
(15) feet of 3/4" Schedule 40 PVC pipe
(4) 3/4" elbows
(2) 3/4" tees
(2) 3/4" caps
(1) 3/4" slip x slip coupler
(1) 1/2" FPT x 3/4" slip bushing
(2) 1" x 1" x 3/4" tees
(2) 1" lengths of 1" Schedule 40 PVC pipe
(1) 8-foot replacement power cord with plug
PVC pipe cutter
drill with 3/8" bit
file or sandpaper

Some stores sell 5-foot cut lengths of pipe in addition to the stock 10-foot lengths. If you have this option, all the pieces necessary can be cut from these two lengths. The hardest part may be obtaining only two inches of the 1" pipe.

Cut the 3/4" pipe into six pieces 22" long each, two pieces 10-1/4" long, two pieces 2" long, and one piece 6" long. From the pieces of 1" PVC pipe, remove approximately 1/4 of the circumference of each using the PVC cutter or a hacksaw, creating two "C" clips.

Approximately 1-1/2" from the end of one of the 10-1/4" pieces, drill a 3/8" hole. File smooth any rough edges, inside and out.

IMPORTANT: Use NO PVC cement until you are satisfied with the fit and orientation of the entire finished assembly. Cement is optional as friction fit alone should sufficiently allow the assembly to remain rigid, and will allow disassembly for storage or later modification as you see fit.

For the main frame, assemble a rectangle using four of the 22" lengths of pipe, two of the 3/4" elbows, and two of the 3/4" tees, with the elbows at the top and the tees at the bottom, oriented so the remaining openings are facing downward. Into each of the remaining tee openings, insert the 2" lengths of 3/4" pipe which have already been inserted into the last two 3/4" elbows. Place the 3/4" caps on one end of each of the remaining 22" pipes, and insert their opposite ends into the open elbows, orienting them perpendicularly to the rectangular frame.

Next, assemble the lightbar. Insert the 1/2" FPT x 3/4" bushing into the 3/4" coupler. Place a 1" x 1" x 3/4" tee on one end of each of the 10-1/4" pipes, nearest the hole on the drilled one. Insert the wires of the light fixture into the threaded bushing end of the bushing/connector assembly. Before screwing the fixture stem into the bushing, wrap it with a few turns of Teflon tape. Thread the pigtail end of the replacement power cord through the 3/8" hole in the one 10-1/4" pipe so it exits the pipe at the end furthest from the hole. Then thread it next in through one side of the "top" of the remaining 3/4" tee, and out the adjacent "bottom" side of the tee. Continue threading it through the 6" pipe. Use wire nuts supplied with the fixture to connect the wires, white to white and black to black. If the power cord has a green ground wire, it can be left unconnected, but do not allow it to contact either the white or black wire connections. Fold the wires and connectors so that they may be inserted into the 6" pipe. Remove slack in the wiring by gently pulling the power cord back throught the drilled hole somewhat as you assemble the bushing/connector, the 6" pipe, and the 3/4" tee. Insert the other 10-1/4" pipe and tee into the remaining 3/4" tee opening.

Temporarily remove the top bar and elbows of the rectangular frame. Slide the 1" PVC "C" clips over each of the 3/4" uprights, positioning them each about halfway down each pipe. Now, positioning the 1" x"1" x 3/4" elbows on either end of the lightbar assembly vertically, slide the lightbar onto the uprights, allowing it to rest on the "C" clips which will slide into the lower openings of the lightbar tees somewhat. The clips will provide a means of height adjustment for different stages of plant growth. Two standard 20" propagation trays fit comfortably between the legs with the lamp centered above them.

Total cost, not including the $35 light fixture, about $15. Pictures here.

ADDENDUM: While disassembling and reassembling the light stand to photograph it for this article, I subsequently found the Lights of America fixture would no longer light up. After some internet searching about the unit and the company, I found that consumer research determined that the [proprietary] LOA lamps typically fall far short of their rated life and output, and that the fixture itself uses a cheap coil-and-capacitor electronic ballast. Bottom line is my light unit, even though technically brand new, is out of warranty and, after about 5 minutes' use, is now a total piece of trash. The light stand, however, may still be of use. I'll have to see what other light unit I can find to complete it.

Quick & Easy: Ground Beef & Cabbage Casserole

Another one pot, under-an-hour recipe-- low carb, yet filling. Prepare as directed, or spice it up at your discretion.

Quick & Easy: Ground Beef & Cabbage Casserole

1 or 1.5 lb. lean ground beef
1 small cabbage (2 lb.)
1 15.8 oz. can petite diced tomatoes
1/4 C. dried minced onion
2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
8 oz. water
fresh ground pepper
1/2 t. salt

Core cabbage, slice and chop into 1" square pieces. Brown ground beef in large pot, seasoning with fresh ground pepper. When beef is browned, drain if necessary, and add diced tomatoes, onion, garlic, and water. Bring to just boiling. Reduced heat to medium and add cabbage. Cook until cabbage is tender, stirring frequently. Makes about 8 servings. Note: Optionally, 1/8 tsp. of caraway seed, ground between the fingers before adding, brings an interesting flavor dimension to the cabbage.

Making A Composter

If you do a lot of gardening, you know how valuable compost can be towards enriching the soil and improving plants. Rich in organic material, compost acts as a soil conditioner and nutrient source, and also contains beneficial microbes that assist in making those nutrients more readily available to your plants.

Commercially-available compost making units seemed rather costly to me, so I decided to build a one out of an old trash can. Holes had been worn in the bottom of the can over nearly two decades of use, but I figured it could continue to be of service in a different way.

All the necessary materials: One old 32-gallon RubberMaid trash can with lid, and a length of 4" diameter corrugated, perforated plastic drainage pipe (available from most home improvement centers).

Necessary tools for the project include a cordless drill, a 4" hole saw, a 5/8" wood bit (the kind with points at the outer edges), and a pair of heavy kitchen shears.

A length of the pipe was cut 33" long, to the next nearest widest corrugation at each end. Rough edges were cleaned up, but the kitchen shears do a reasonably neat job, anyway. The flanged ends were cut perpendicularly 1/2" deep at the 12, 3, 6, and 9 o'clock positions. 4" holes were sawed in the bottom center of the can and center of the lid-- it was easiest to center the holes by drilling from the inside surfaces in both cases. Since the pipe is 4" in diameter at the narrowest point of the corrugations, these were necessary to pass the pipe ends through the 4" holes, but then "lock" the pipe in place. This task was more difficult at the bottom end, as the can is thicker and less pliable than the lid, but the tightest fit possible is preferred.

5/8" holes were then drilled in a regular fashion all around the can-- 24 all total. 4 additional holes were drilled in the lid as well.

Conveniently, the yard man chose not to use the mulching mower this week. Lots of starter grass clippings, leaves, pine needles. Kitchen waste and shredded paper will be added also.

Total project cost: an amazingly low $3.48! Actually, only $1.16, as there is enough pipe left over from the 10 ft. length to make two more. If you wanted to make one out of a brand new can: $13.08.

Funny part of the story: As I was completing the project, my neighbor came out to wash his car and asked what I was doing. When I told him I was making a composter, he said he had one he didn't use and I was welcome to have it-- for free. Turns out it's an Earth Machine, which the local municipality gave out free to residents several years ago in an effort to reduce landfill waste. Seems they normally sell for about $60-70. They appear to be nothing more, really, than an eye-pleasing way to make a compost pile, but include venting, an adjustable-vented lid, and a door to remove compost. It may well not work any better than my can project, but, for free, I'll give both a try. I can see already, however, that my design has one advantage-- all I will need do to give the pile a stir with mine is lay it on its side and roll it around the yard a bit. Between the lid's built-in clips and the chimney flange holding it, the lid should, hopefully, stay firmly in place. The good news is that the compost that was left in the bottom of the Earth Machine will make a fine inoculant for both compost piles.

Quick & Easy: Southwest Chicken Pasta Salad

This is a flavorful rotini pasta salad with grilled chicken, toasted almonds, red bell pepper, black olives and green onions, all in a chipotle mayonnaise dressing. Prepared in as little as twenty minutes.

Southwest Chicken Pasta Salad

10 oz. organic whole wheat rotini pasta (or 16 oz.)
8 oz. grilled chicken tenders** (12 oz. if using 16 oz. pasta)
1/4 C. red bell pepper
1/4 C. sliced black olives
2 green onions

1/4 C. slivered almonds
1 T. butter

1 C. chipotle mayonnaise* or 1/2 cup plus 1/2 cup regular mayo

Cook pasta in salted water until tender. Drain and rinse under cold water to cool.

Cube chicken tenders into 3/4" cubes. Dice approx. 1/3 a red bell pepper to make 1/4 cup. Coarsely chop black olives, approx. half a 2.25 oz. can, to make 1/4 cup. Chop green onions, tops and all, into 1/4" slices.

Melt butter in skillet and add almonds, stirring to toast evenly until just amber in color. Remove from skillet immediately to cool.

Place pasta and all other ingredients in large bowl. Add mayonnaise, mixing to coat thoroughly. Optionally use a mixture of half chipotle mayo and half regular mayo. If you like chipotle, and a little more spice, go with 100% chipotle mayo. Makes 5-6 servings.

For an extra southwest touch, add 2 t. chopped fresh cilantro.

*Chipotle Mayo

1 C. mayonnaise
2 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (3 if small)
1 T. adobo sauce
2 t. worcestershire sauce

Cut open chipotles and remove stems and seeds. Grind to a paste with a chopper or mortar and pestle. Combine all ingredients thoroughly. Improves after refrigeration time. Canned chipotle peppers (smoked jalapeños) in adobo sauce can be found in the ethnic foods section of most groceries.

**Chicken Tenders Preparation

Prep fresh chicken tenders by using kitchen shears to remove most of small tendon, if attached. Place in a brine composed of 1/4 cup Diamond Crystal kosher salt and one quart cold tap water and refrigerate for 6-8 hours (do this in the a.m, and they will be ready to cook by dinner time). Drain and rinse tenders in cool water and pat dry with paper towels. Season as desired. On a pre-heated, lightly-oiled George Foreman grill, cook for four minutes, or until meat temp reaches 160°. Use in salad recipe above while still warm or refrigerate for use later.

5-Gallon Bucket Tomato Planters Revisited

Now that all danger of frost has passed-- 5 weeks ago in fact-- it's time to plant some tomatoes. The bucket containers from last year got a thorough cleaning and disinfecting and are ready to go...

The bucket containers sat out on the patio all winter, and they ended up turning themselves into four foot potted night-blooming jasmines.

For those unfamiliar, night-blooming jasmine is really great in the summer. Throw open the patio door after dark and their fragrance fills the house, and the neighborhood as well. They grow ten feet tall, and propagate themselves at the drop of a hat. Don't worry about winter freezes with this stuff-- you can't kill it, and it will be back with a vengeance next year.

Anyway, after extracting the jasmine from a couple of the bucket containers, and getting them scrubbed out and disinfected with a spray bottle full of hydrogen peroxide, it was time to plant.

This year, after the dismal results last year with creole tomatoes, I went an entirely different direction. I chose the Celebrity hybrid for its disease, drought, and heat resistance. This variety is also a determinate, which means it will grow to a fixed height-- about 3 feet-- and stop. It also means it will set its fruit almost all at once. Fortunately, it is quick to maturity, so I should have something to harvest within about 60 days.

I buried about 50 percent of the plants in the soil-- this will increase rooting, and help the plants to develop strong stalks.

I also added one more thing over years past, which was to place a large handful of cypress mulch around the base of the plant. This should help preserve moisture even further than just the bucket lid, and will keep soil-borne pathogens off the lower leaves of the plant. Once these starts get about a foot and a half tall, I have some cages to support what I hope will be lots of tomatoes.

Quick & Easy: Turkey & Eggplant Casserole

This is a great comfort food dish that can be prepared and ready to serve in under an hour, in one pot on the stovetop. It's naturally low carb and low fat, too. There's a bit of spicyness from the Rotel tomatoes, diced chiles, onion and garlic, but it's all nicely balanced and in no way overwhelming.

Doug's Turkey & Eggplant Casserole

3/4 to 1 lb. ground turkey (or lean ground beef)
1 med-lg. eggplant
2 10 oz. cans Rotel Milder Diced Tomatoes and Green Chiles, undrained
1/4 C. dried chopped or minced onion
2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
3 T. tomato paste

fresh ground black pepper
1/4 C. whole wheat bread crumbs

1/4 C. kosher salt
4 cups cool tap water

Prepare eggplant by peeling and slicing into 1/2" thick slices. Chop slices into 1/2" cubes. To prevent bitterness, soak cubes 15-20 minutes in a brine made up of 4 cups cool tap water into which 1/4 cup of Diamond Crystal Kosher Salt has been dissolved.

Brown ground meat in a large pot, seasoning with fresh ground black pepper. Once meat is browned, drain if necessary. Drain eggplant in collander and rinse with cool tap water. Add tomatoes with chiles, onion and eggplant to pot. Bring to just boiling, and reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer, stirring frequently, until eggplant starts to turn translucent. Add garlic and tomato paste, and continue to stir. When all pieces of eggplant are cooked, add bread crumbs to further thicken mixture.

Yield: About 6 cups.

Quick & Easy: Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad for Two

Cooking for two isn't always easy-- you end up with the same big mess in the kitchen, and leftovers you have to figure out what to do with later. Here's a great Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad, with a freshly-made dressing that you can whip up in minutes with ingredients you're likely to have on hand.

Quick & Easy Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad for Two

1 heart of romaine lettuce
8 oz. grilled chicken breast or chicken tenders*
1/2 cup croutons (optional; whole wheat for low carb)

1/4 cup shredded Parmesan Cheese (grated OK)
2 T. lemon juice (ReaLemon OK)
1 clove garlic
1/2 t. Worcestershire sauce
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
pinch salt
fresh-ground pepper to taste

Combine all dressing ingredients except olive oil in processor or blender (2-cup mini-chopper works well). Process until well blended. With processor running, drizzle in olive oil and continue to process until well-incorporated.

Slice romaine heart cross-wise into 1"-wide ribbons, then cut ribbons into thirds. Wash and dry well. Place romaine in large bowl, and add all of dressing, mixing to coat greens thoroughly.

Slice chicken cross-wise into 1/2" slices.

Divide greens into two serving bowls. Top each salad with 4 oz. chicken and half of croutons. Add fresh-ground pepper to taste. If Parmesan is fresh-grated, sprinkle a little extra on top.

This is tasty, easy; there's no leftovers, and there's no mashing anchovies or raw egg to contend with.

And, of course, you can make it for 4, 6, or even more people simply by multiplying the ingredients.

*Chicken Tenders Preparation

Prep fresh chicken tenders by using kitchen shears to remove most of small tendon, if attached. Place in a brine composed of 1/4 cup Diamond Crystal kosher salt and one quart cold tap water for 6-8 hours (do this in the a.m, and they will be ready to cook by dinner time). Drain and rinse tenders in cool water and pat dry with paper towels. Season as desired. On a pre-heated, lightly-oiled George Foreman grill, cook for four minutes, or until meat temp reaches 160°. Use in salad recipe above while still warm or refrigerate for use later.

Last Time I Saw Belushi

John Belushi-- in person, that is-- was 28 years ago today. I was reminded of that fact by the NBC special which aired tonight, February 20, 2005, which happened to mention the so-called ill-fated second season Mardi Gras episode-- the first and only time Saturday Night Live was ever broadcast from anywhere other than New York City.

I had a part-time job, early in my college days, at a coffee shop situated at the end of the French Market in New Orleans' French Quarter. Housed in what was for decades the location of the famous Morning Call coffee stand, Cafe Maison took over the cafe au lait and beignet duties in the Market after Morning Call departed to the suburbs. The Vieux Carre Commission required that whoever took over the space continue to serve the same fare as the Morning Call, in order to maintain some warped sense of historic preservation. Local restaurateurs the Masson Family took on the task, and installed a long-time associate of theirs as the manager.

I happened to be a fraternity brother of the manager's son, and he asked me to sub for him as a cashier temporarily during his National Guard duty. Subsequently, I was asked to stay on and act as weekend night manager.

Cashier-with-a-key was closer to the truth, but I was only a year away from a rural Midwest upbringing, and this night-time weekend French Quarter gig was some pretty heady stuff. These were the carefree pre-AIDS days of disco and nightclubbing, and here was I, perched on my high stool behind the counter, with a great view of a seemingly endless parade of bizarre night-owls in a tourist town that was and is one of the centers of American gay culture. Every night brought something new, and, if not, there were also the regulars one could count on for entertainment.

There was Shell-Shocked Vet Guy, who openly perused glossy pornographic picture mags from the adult bookstore across the street while sipping his coffee, and who concluded most visits by rolling his eyes back in his head and flailing his arms about, appearing to fend off incoming missiles.

There was S&M Dishwasher, one of over a hundred dishwashers the restaurant hired that year, who supplemented his minimum-wage earnings providing bondage and discipline services to those willing to pay.

There were the members of the French Quarter security detail, who were mainly visible only during their visits for free coffee.

Among the waitstaff was Kim, who claimed to be both a veteran Marine and psychology major. Most days, he favored a hint of blue eye-shadow and a bit of blush, and could never be trusted with the key to the supply room, which he considered his personal retreat for quick mid-shift sexual encounters with other similarly-oriented employees.

On the evening of February 20, 1977, also a Sunday, we had our brush with greatness. Somehow, our restaurant was selected to provide a location for segments of the live SNL Mardi Gras Special. What we didn't realize is that we would also be the de facto dressing and makeup room for the cast, crew, and the show's guests-- we were host to the likes of Laraine Newman, Gilda Radner, Eric Idle, Randy Newman, and Belushi himself.

It was Belushi who I got the closest look at-- he came up to the counter and asked to use the phone. I marveled that he appeared-- to me-- to be rather politely reserved in his demeanor. He seemed by no means that night anything like the crazy Samurai or outlaw Killer Bee, nor the wild man Bluto Blutarsky, the role that a year and a half later would launch him to super-stardom, nor even remotely the eventual casualty of the drugged excess that would claim his life five years and two weeks later.

All of the taping for the show was done outside on the patio-- Eric Idle gave a brief update while seated at one of the tables, amidst the total disarray of trash and upset sugar shakers. Belushi did his Streetcar Named Desire "Stella!!!" bit against the backdrop of a building just across the street.

The restaurant manager hustled around bringing trays full of complimentary coffee and beignet out to the cast and crew. I remember thinking he should be charging them-- double, or even triple maybe-- for the hassle and loss of business that night. I think he had this notion that the restaurant would get some kind of invaluable publicity from the show-- it didn't. Cafe Maison is long-defunct, as are the restaurants of the local culinary legends, the Massons.

The only remnant of that evening is a photo of Belushi, sipping coffee, in the February 20, 2005 edition of TV Focus magazine. He's seen in the hat and jacket I remember him wearing, and you can make out the upper part of Randy Newman's face behind him. And, only recognizable to someone familiar with those surroundings, is the blurry outline in the background of the beams and columns that supported the roof of the French Market, and that of the Cafe itself.

NBC never re-aired nor syndicated the New Orleans Mardi Gras SNL episode, as it was largely considered a debacle-- one that would prevent SNL from ever venturing outside NYC again. Buck Henry and Jane Curtin covered the Bacchus parade that never passed-- it was delayed by a fatal accident earlier in the route. The show's producers never imagined that thousands of fans would show up for the opening segment in Jackson Square, which featured Dan Aykroyd doing his Jimmy Carter impersonation astride the bronze tail of Andrew Jackson's horse. Gilda Radner, as Emily Litella, got group-groped by some local drunks. In town, appearing as Endymion Co-Grand Marshals, Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams (Laverne and Shirley) were both so tired from the hectic schedule of the weekend, they barely made it through-- let alone to-- the show. Cast member Garrett Morris, a New Orleans native, much to his chagrin, was all but left out of the show. And, due to timing issues and various glitches, New Orleans own Meters were left standing on a stage all evening-- never to play a single note-- while Randy Newman was tapped to perform an unheard-of total of four musical numbers.

ABTs

ABT = Atomic Buffalo Turds. Once you get past the name-- I didn't make this one up-- a great appetizer you can make in your Bullet or other smoker. Made with fresh jalapeno peppers, cream cheese and leftover BBQ meat. Although typically made using pulled pork, I did an ABT variation Christmas day using leftover pastrami instead.

Process 8 oz. Whipped Philly Cream Cheese and 1/4 pound diced pastrami together in a food processor. Stuff 24 fresh jalapeno pepper half-shells (12 peppers de-stemmed, sliced lengthwise, and de-seeded) with a liberal tablespoon or more of the cream cheese/meat mixture. Wrap each in a half-slice of thin bacon secured with a soaked toothpick. Smoke with one chunk of cherry or other mild smoke wood for 90 minutes at 225�. Great hot, or even cold after refrigeration.

Smoked Mushroom Dip

We used to pay through the nose at a local high-end grocery for a smoked mushroom dip like this one. It's darn tasty, and I knew I could duplicate it. Already having a smoker helps.

Doug's Smoked Mushroom Dip

8 oz. sliced fresh mushrooms, smoked*
12 oz. Whipped Philly Cream Cheese
8 oz. Sour Cream
1/8 t. garlic powder
1 t. onion flakes, ground
1 t. kosher salt
2-3 T. pine nuts, finely chopped
fresh ground black pepper
2 small chunks hickory wood

*Butter a small 10"x14" baking pan, and spread mushroom slices out in a single layer. Add fresh ground pepper to suit. Place in 235-250� smoker, add smokewood, and smoke for 75-90 minutes. The slices should be cooked, but still slightly firm. Remove and allow to cool. (During a rib cook, I set the pan on top of some foiled ribs, and just threw the wood on top of the coals.)

Chop smoked mushroom slices coarsely (1/4" - 1/2" pieces). In a 6 cup bowl, add sour cream, garlic powder, onion, salt, and pine nuts, mixing thoroughly. Add chopped mushrooms and cream cheese, folding together until well mixed. Refrigerate and allow flavors to combine for at least a few hours.

For a thicker, chunkier dip, reduce sour cream to either 4 or 6 ounces, starting with 4 and adding as desired. I like to use 4 ounces.

Eric Clapton 2004 Tour

I guess it's a testament to an artist's being long past the drinkin'-n'-druggin', party-all-night phase of their career when a show goes off like a well-oiled machine headed down the highway. On the way to the venue, I should have taken the advice of the local classic rock station's "on-air personality" with a grain of salt. She advised that, at 6:45pm, the doors were open for the 7:30pm showtime, and to expect the opening act to take the stage at 8:00pm followed by the headliner at 9:00. She must have been working from empirical evidence gathered from decades of concert-going, assuming that all such shows start fashionably late. Such was not to be the case.

At promptly 7:32pm, Jimmie Vaughan took the stage. His appearance this date was due to the unavailability of the regular opener for the tour, The Robert Rudolph Family Blues Band. A four-piece line-up for the show, Vaughan's band consisted of two guitars, drums, and a keyboardist also functioning as bass. His set was short, consisting of mostly barroom rockers, and was unfortunately marred by technical difficulty with his amp cutting out in the middle of "Texas Flood". More unfortunate that this particular song put his late brother on the map-- at least for me-- and Stevie Ray's recording is the benchmark by which I judge all others. Jimmie took it in stride, however, appearing through most of the set both to be happy to be there and to have somewhere else he needed to be.

Jimmie bid us thanks and farewell-- after only 30 or so minutes-- at 8:05pm, and, after a short stage reset and little fanfare, Eric Clapton took the stage at 8:30. What followed was nearly two hours to the minute of everything you'd expect to hear at a Clapton concert-- a little blues, a little Cream, a little sit-down Robert Johnson acoustic, "Layla", "Cocaine" (an easy sing-a-long for the mostly middle-aged audience), "Wonderful Tonight" (for the ladies), and a second and final encore of "Sweet Home Chicago", which must be the standard show-closer when you invite all the evening's acts back on stage for one last big guitar number.

I have to say Doyle Bramhall II on second guitar was a revelation. I'd heard his work before on albums, most notably "ARC Angels". Being a recreational guitarist, I always like to see how the pros do what they do. Early on, I was confused-- did they have another guitarist somewhere offstage? Was Clapton-regular Andy Fairweather-Lowe's spotlight out? I couldn't figure out who was playing what. I brought out the binoculars and found my answer: Young Doyle is a lefty who learned to play on a right-handed guitar, so his left-handed guitars are strung upside-down. No matter-- he kicked some righteous butt up there, handling the Clapton repertoire like he'd been at it twice his years, and demonstrating exactly why he was chosen for the gig.

Pre-tour information had also noted that Chris Stainton and Billy Preston would be joining the band on keyboards, but, apparently it's an either/or thing, as we only had Chris. The rest of the line-up included Clapton fixtures Steve Gadd (drums), Nathan East (bass), and two somewhat zaftig back-up singers. Everyone's attire for the evening was pretty much casual Friday-- even though it was a Saturday-- with blue jeans all around.

About the only niggling little complaint I'd have to voice about the show was how little--besides through his music-- Clapton connects with the audience. It was like 25-words-or-less: "Good evening!", "We're going to do a few Robert Johnson songs for you.", "Thank you!", "Jimmie Vaughan!", and "Good night!" I sort of felt like I could have just bought the DVD, if you know what I mean. Would have been nice to know if he was having as good a time as we were, too.

Internet Forum Decorum

Online Forums, aka Bulletin Board Systems or "BBSes" (a holdover from the pre-internet dark ages), are a great way to communicate with others with a common interest, and increase one's knowledge of that interest through the sharing of experiences.

Most forums use a similar format, so they're easy to navigate once you're familiar with any one of the many software packages available.

Online forums-- and those who frequent them-- are as diverse as the subjects to which they are devoted. Some subjects lend themselves to very supportive, tight-knit communities. Others engender spirited, if not sometimes highly-opinionated debate. As polite and friendly as one forum may be, another may be infested with all manner of rude behavior.

A basic understanding of online forum etiquette can allow lurker and participant alike to recognize inappropriate behavior, and to hopefully avoid it themselves.

Some useful definitions:

Lurking - Reading online forums only without participating in the discussions.

Post - To start or reply to a topic or "thread" in a forum is to post (v.) or create a post (n.). A throwback term from the BBS days.

Thread - n. - An original post, usually asking a question, or posing a topic of discussion, followed by a series of replies, which hopefully stick to the topic of the OP.

OP - n. - Abbreviation of "Original Post" often used to refer directly to it.

Cold, Hot - A cold thread is one wherein discussion has come to an end for whatever reason-- resolution of a question or problem, or just lack of interest. A hot thread is an active one with many replies, and most forum software denotes active discussions with a "hot topic" marker.

Moderator - The owner or administrator of a forum typically acts as a "moderator", monitoring the forum for inappropriate behavior and editing, deleting, or moving posts as necessary. With large or very active forums, the administrator may appoint one or more members as moderators.

Profile - A part of your forum user account where you may list information about yourself visible to other forum members. Sometimes useful, sometimes encourages unwelcome contact.

PM - Abbreviation for Private Message. Most forums offer the capability for users to privately message one another. Use of PMs are encouraged when one user has a question specifically for another user that would not necessarily be of interest to the general community. For example, if you see in another user's profile that they are a fan of a particular sports team, it is considered inappropriate to engage them in conversation about it in a forum thread-- unless the subject is "What's your favorite team?" of course. Use a PM instead.

Recent Active Topics - Many forums have this or a similar feature where you can view a list of only the most recently or currently active threads-- useful for frequent forum visitors, because they don't have to sort through inactive topics. Some simpler forums have only a "last ten posts" list.

Sticky Topics - Threads, usually posted by the administrator or moderator which stay "stuck" at the top of the forum, in order that they always remain visible. "Stickies" usually contain information for new forum visitors, including Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs), or guidelines to be followed.

Forum Faux Pas:

Thread Mining - Term having both positive and negative connotations, depending on the context in which it is used. For example, doing a search of previous forum posts in order to help with a question posed in a new topic, one might go "thread mining" to find the answer. Alternately, posting a reply in a cold thread when the last post is several months old is also referred to as thread mining.

Thread Crap(ping) - Thread crapping occurs when a person comes into a thread and posts something contrary to the spirit/intent of the thread, often derailing the discussion or turning it into an argument. For example, coming into a thread titled "I love my new Apple Macintosh!", and posting "PCs are better and cheaper" is a thread crap.

Thread Hijack(ing) - The inappropriate practice of changing the topic of a thread by posting new questions unrelated to the OP in your reply.

Forum Spamming - Many online forums have member rankings based upon the number of posts a user has made, these rankings having associated titles like "Newbie", "Fan", "Pro", "All Star". Some people feel that the purpose of participating in online forums is therefore a matter of quantity over quality. Posting with the intent of increasing one's post count is referred to as "forum spamming". Other examples include replying to one's own posts (rather than editing a post to clarify, amplify, or make a correction), and "chiming in". Sometimes also derogatorily referred to as "post whoring".

Chiming In - A reply to a thread which makes little or no contribution to the discussion (see Forum Spamming). For example, replying to the question "Does anyone here own an Apple computer?" with "Not me", or "I do".

Trolling - Posting an outrageous message to bait people to answer. Trolling is a form of harassment that can take over a discussion. Well meaning defenders can create chaos by responding to trolls. The best response is to ignore it, or to report such a message to a forum moderator.

Flame(s)(ing) - Insulting another user's post, opinions, subject, grammar, or pretty much anything else, in an attempt to pick an online fight is considered "flaming".

Cross-Posting - Posting multiple identical posts in different topics or sub-forums in the same online forum is considered inappropriate.

OT - Abbreviation for "Off Topic". Used to notify readers that the post contains discussion not directly pertaining to the subject matter of the thread or forum. Going "Off Topic" is typically frowned upon, and forum owners often create an Off Topic sub-forum for such discussions.

ALL CAPS - Typing in all caps is the internet equivalent of SHOUTING, and, besides making the writer appear ignorant, is also just plain hard to read.

Bumping - The practice of creating a post solely for the purpose of getting a cold or dead thread-- usually one created by the bumper-- back on the "recent active topics" list.

Also Annoying:

Posting in the wrong sub-forum, e.g. starting a thread about Apple computers in an IBM PC forum.

Using lots of !!!!!!!!!!!! or ????????? in a thread subject line.

Using URGENT!, IMPORTANT!, or HELP! in a thread subject line. Many new users to an online forum think that online forums exist as free, on-demand tech support rather than the online communities that they are. Most forums keep a great deal of past discussion threads online for reference. A simple use of the search function included on nearly every forum can get answers to questions more quickly than can starting a new thread on a subject that has been most likely previously discussed in depth.

IM-Speak. Abbreviating "you", "your", "to", "are", "and", "for", and other monosyllabic words with letters like "u", "ur", "2", "r", "n", "4" is an acceptable device for Instant Messaging, but not forum posts. It might fly in the online computer games forum, but if you notice that you're the only one doing it, know that it just makes you look immature.

Replying without reading the entire thread. Sometimes replies are made to the OP without checking to see if a previous reply to it hasn't already said essentially the same thing.

Playing "welcome wagon". The practice of replying to the posts of new users with "welcomes" mostly to just raise your post count.

Large colored fonts. Yes, most forums allow them. Yes, they are annoying.

Really loooong links. Most forums allow links to other webpages to be included in messages. Problem is, a long link screws up the formatting of every other post in the thread, and forces the reader to scroll left and right in order to read any message in the thread. Make use of the forum software's ability to display a short amount of text in lieu of a link that's longer than a browser window's typical width.

Quoting entire posts. Quoting is a very useful forum tool, helping to keep replies in context over the course of a long thread, and especially so when you are not replying to the most recent post in a thread. But it's best to quote only the most relevant part of the post to which you are replying, particularly when the post being replied to is long.

It's a Good Thing:

Reading any new forum you are interested in for a period of time before making your first posts. In this way you are able to get a feel for the generally accepted tone and standard of behavior of a particular online community. When in Rome...

Using the Search function, if the forum has one, to try to find answers to your questions before starting a new thread. If the forum has been established any reasonable amount of time at all, it's likely that most basic topics relating to the forum's subject matter have been discussed several times already.

Reading the Stickies before posting in any forum-- it will save your and everyone else's time.

Resisting the urge to believe that you are the wittiest person ever to grace the World Wide Web, and that no thread would be complete without at least some input from you.

Knowing the difference between discussion and chat, and which is appropriate where.

Watching your language. The internet is an open place. Children may be present.

Appropriately-sized pictures. If the forum you participate in allows for the posting of photos, keep the size reasonable and the filesize as small as possible. Be considerate of the dial-up user, who may have to wait minutes for your inline photo to download, and post a link to it instead. Large inline photos, like long links, also screw up the formatting of all the other posts in the thread, making reading very difficult.

Follow these simple guidelines and you should be a welcome participant in any forum you choose. One might even invite you to become a Moderator.

Pork Butt Redux

I am beginning to think pork butt is replacing pastrami as my favorite thing to do on the Bullet. Although I enjoy the process of making my own authentic pastrami from scratch, the results of pork shoulder being smoked low & slow for 12-13 hours to a state of tender succulence are beyond compare.

I had a conversation with my neighbor last week about doing a communal cook. You see, I had a pair of mourning doves nest in a potted aloe plant on my patio in March, and, in order to minimize disturbing them, I had to move the cook site over to the other side of the house-- right next to my neighbor's side door. During our talk, I realized I had been torturing him and his family with the aromas of good barbecue for a month. I suggested that, since I am frequently only cooking on one grate, that the other was free for whatever he wanted to supply. He agreed and said perhaps he would purchase something for the next cook.

The following Saturday, I went to Sam's and requested a "two pack of pork butts in Cryovac". The meat department guy said, "Oh, you want a whole one?" I just nodded yes, and he went in the back. I saw him weigh one up and refer to his laminated book for pricing. He returned with a pack weighing 13.5 pounds priced at $1.08 per pound-- not bad, and better than $1.58 per pound for the singles in styro trays out front. The "use or freeze by" date was over 10 days away to boot.

The next day being Easter Sunday, I wanted to get the butt cook out of the way because I also had turkey breast to do, by request of an Easter dinner guest.

I got the Bullet fired up, and put the butts on at 11am, figuring that, at 5.75 and 6.75 pounds respectively, I would be looking at 12-13 hours. The temperature held rock steady at 250* the entire time, and, at 10pm, the smaller butt was ready.

I decided to surprise my neighbor, and, knowing they keep late hours next door, phoned him.

"Have I tortured you long enough? Your pork is ready. I'm bringing it over." He said OK and, armed with a jar of rub and some vinegar-based sauce, off I went.

We gathered in the kitchen and the butt was ceremoniously unfoiled, releasing that fabulous aroma. The bone came out effortlessly. I requested two carving forks, and went at it. In minutes, we had a pan full of beautiful pulled pork. I sprinkled on some rub and mixed it in. I then gave a short tutorial on the merits of vinegar-based sauces on pulled pork, and storage and reheating techniques as we all tried some samples.

My neighbor asked what did he owe me. I said, "It's like drugs-- the first taste is free." He laughed, and agreed that he was already "hooked", saying he would grab a two pack from Sam's for next week.

PowerEdge 400SC Server

Haven't done any geek writing in a while, so it's time to share my latest tech project. It's the Dell PowerEdge 400SC server. It's a not-so-well-kept secret that this affordable server, from Dell's Business Systems Division, can quite easily be adapted for use as a high-performance desktop as well.

For many years, I have received much better value and satisfaction assembling my own home computers from variously obtained parts. I got exactly what I wanted-- no more, no less-- and didn't have to suffer pre-installed bloatware and limited upgrade paths.

Back in those days, a name brand computer most likely meant proprietary motherboards with built-in peripheral components like video and sound that left much to be desired. Not to be unexpected were even proprietary versions of operating system software, too. Names like Packard Bell and Compaq Presario come to mind.

These days, however, home computer technology is sufficiently advanced that even the most basic onboard peripherals are perfectly acceptable for most users, unless they are involved in high-end gaming, or computer graphic or design work.

The PowerEdge 400SC can be had with a Celeron 2GHz processor, 40GB hard drive, 128MB of SDRAM, and a 48x CD-ROM for as little as $274 if you catch the right promotional deal. At this price point, and with an included one-year on-site warranty, there's no reason to consider building your own system any more.

Even better value can be had by upgrading to at least the Pentium 4 2.4GHz processor, as it supports higher-speed DDR400 memory, and also Intel hyperthreading technology which allows the machine to operate-- under certain conditions-- as if it has two processors installed. Additional memory is recommended, and is required to run the system in a higher-performance dual-channel mode. Mine is a 2.4GHz, and has a minimum 256MB of DDR400 configured for dual channel.

As it is a sold as a business server, the 400SC comes with little in the way of software-- none, in fact. The user must supply an operating system, and also drivers for the installed and onboard peripherals. The typical home user will install a copy of Windows XP Home Edition, or, preferably, the Professional Edition. (Actual business users would be likely to employ a Windows Server OS, or a Linux-based solution.)

Drivers may be obtained from-- where applicable-- Dell's or Intel's websites, the video card manufacturer, or from a web forum dedicated to afficionados of this machine.

Of further interest is the heritage of the 400SC. It's mainboard is produced by Intel for Dell, and is essentially the same as the one found in Dell's higher-end Dimension and OptiPlex models-- models which sell for hundreds of dollars more.

In fact, if you peek through the holes in the 400SC's front panel, you will see the front USB ports and headphone jack found on the aforementioned premium desktop models. Apparently, it would cost Dell more to have the server model produced differently without the front panel components, so they leave them in, just covered and inaccessible. The USB ports are actually connected and functional, not that you'd probably need them-- there are six more on the back panel, all high-speed USB 2.0. And the headphone jack could even be activated by purchasing a $5 cable.

Two other vestiges of the higher-end desktop models include-- neither officially supported by Dell-- an 8X AGP video slot and onboard sound.

Other plusses include virtually silent operation, a tool-less case and a Gigabit ethernet NIC.

Update: Time marches on, and, sadly, the 400SC has been discontinued as of November 2004. Afficionados are attempting to embrace other models that have replaced it, but have not as yet equalled the 400SC for ease of adaptation to desktop use.

Pork Butt Roast

It's been quite a while since I did a pork butt roast. I usually do what is called a small or a half, typically around 4 lbs. I wanted to try to go all out and do a bigger one, and, for my household, a 7-pounder seemed about the right size to try.

A Weber Bullet owner knows his cooker is capable of not only very stable temperatures, but of maintaining them for very long time periods as well. Knowing this, a lot of Weber Bullet owners cook pork butts overnight, because, at barbecue temperatures, pork butt takes 1-1/2 to 2 hours per pound to reach the desired internal temperature of 190 to 205*F. Doing a little math, we realize that a 7 pound pork butt roast should take from 10-1/2 to 14 hours to finish.

Those unfamiliar would ask "Why so high a temperature? Pork is considered cooked well below 190*F."

This is where we have to remind the casual observer that the aim of true barbecue is to take otherwise tough and/or fatty cuts of meat and, by cooking them at low temperatures for long periods of time, render out fat and break down tough connective tissue. Barbecue meats need to be cooked-- it is said-- beyond doneness to the point of tenderness.

In this case, I wasn't interested in an overnighter, because I was not shooting to be done for a specific dinner time. Instead, I chose to get started right after Sunday breakfast-- around 10:00am.

I opted to fire up the cooker using an alternate method known for maintaining long, even burn times. To accomplish this, the charcoal ring is filled full of unlit briquets, and a small amount of lit charcoal is placed on top. This small amount then slowly ignites adjacent briquets, and, eventually, the entire bed is lit-- just not all at once. Some would question the advisability of cooking over charcoal that has not been fully lit, but this method in fact does not taint the food with any undesirable taste.

For my starter coals, I chose to re-light some used briquets from a previous cook. I know from experience that these used briquets burn hotter than new charcoal, and I theorized that such hotter-burning coals would be particularly suited for getting the cooker temperature up to target more quickly.

Those familiar with good barbecue are acquainted with the concept of a smoke ring, which is the reddish coloration the edge of the meat takes on when smoke-cooked. A chemical reaction takes place, but only within a specific temperature range, and then stops once the high end of the range has been exceeded, which explains why this "ring" only penetrates the meat a fraction of an inch. Therefore, in order to form a pronounced smoke ring, one must apply smoke to the meat while it is in this specific temperature range, between 40 and 140*F.

Some observers familiar with true barbecue would ask, "If you're going to do a long cook like a pork butt, why not let the meat come to room temperature before cooking, like I've heard some people do?" My answer would be two-pronged. One, you would not want to let raw meat sit off refrigeration for too long due to food safety concerns. Second, even if you set a sizeable pork butt roast out for a couple of hours, the mass of the meat would not allow its core temperature to rise appreciably.

Another thing barbecue cooks know is that, when a large piece of meat is placed into a hot cooker, the temperature will drop considerably because of the cold mass introduced into the chamber. To address this issue, I decided to try something different.

Typically, the firing and set-up of a Weber Bullet or similar cooker involves lighting the fire by some method, and also introducing a temperature-stabilizing heatsink. In the case of the Bullet, the standard heatsink is the water-filled pan below the cooking grates.

Some Bullet owners, in a effort to avoid spilling water on hot coals or to facilitate clean-up, have switched to using sand in the pan. There is some debate as to whether sand is better than water as a heatsink or not. The pro-sand camp cite the reasons just stated, adding that sand-- unlike water-- does not need to be replenished like water does. The traditional water camp, however, would point out that sand continues to absorb heat far past the 212* point water does, and it (sand) can therefore become an undesirable radiator of heat over time.

So, my different approach for this cook went like this: I wanted to put the meat on right out of the refrigerator to maximize the smoke ring. But, I didn't want to fight to get the cooker temperature up to my target any longer than I had to. So, I theorized that, if I began cooking with no heatsink, the overall mass available to absorb heat initially would be limited to only the meat itself. My plan was to leave the pan empty until the cooker temperature had come reasonably close to my target, and then add very hot tap water to the pan.

Long story short, it worked perfectly. Even cooking on a cold 57* day, with light wind, my cooker hung at a stable 250* for 13 hours, with fuel to spare.

Once I reached 150* meat temp, I foiled the roast since I knew it had received plenty of smoke, and was past the point of further smoke ring formation. Once the roast hit 198*, I pierced a few holes in the bottom of the foil to let rendered fat drain into the water pan. I continued to cook until I achieved a final meat temperature of 205*.

Once remove from the cooker, I rested the still foil-wrapped roast for about 15 minutes. Upon unwrapping, the bone pulled cleanly from the meat with no resistance whatsoever. I used two carving forks to easily shred the still very hot meat into pulled pork. The net from the 7.17-pound roast weighed right at 4 lbs.

5-Gallon Container to Hydroponic Conversion

I cleaned out one of the 5-gallon containers to convert it to a self-contained hydroponic system. If you view the orginal photos here, you can get an idea of what I am about to describe.

I removed the one-inch filler tube and passed the power cord of a tiny submersible hobby pump up through the hole. To the outlet of the pump, I attached a length of 3/8" ID vinyl tubing, which was also directed up through the hole alongside the power cord. The wick cup remained in place to function as it had originally, in case of pump or power failure. Cypress mulch was then used to fill the container to within about 3" of the top. The top bucket was then inserted into the bottom bucket. Water was added from the top until the bottom bucket overflowed from the original overflow hole. The bottom bucket was then emptied to dispose of the fine debris that rinsed out of the cypress mulch. The bottom bucket was then filled with one gallon of clean water, and appropriate nutrient added. The system was then re-assembled and the pump powered on. Adjustment of flow rate is accomplished by rotating the vinyl tube, which results in the turning the outlet of the pump which has a variable flow restrictor.

The pump is a ZooMed MicroPump 104, designed for reptile tanks or the like, and available for under $15 usually. Its rated flow is adjustable from 35-70gph, which translates to about .5-1gpm. I also like the fact that it can run dry without damage.

I planted an already-sprouted mirliton-- aka vegetable pear or chayote squash-- someone gave me to see how it would do. You can see it here.

I came to realize, after a few hours operation, that more particles found their way to the pump intake, slowing it considerably. An aquarium filter pad, about 4" by 6", wrapped around the pump and secured by a rubber band provided a solution.

BBQ Meat: Price vs. Value

I find fascinating the wide range of meat prices you can find from store to store on any given Sunday. Of course, there are considerations like USDA grades, amounts of trimming, and prevailing price levels due to other factors, but, all too often, more attention is paid by the consumer to price rather than to value.

Here's a little math I did based on the three racks of spares I did recently:

Rack #--Price/lb.--Wt.-----Net Wt. After Trimming
1-------$1.69------3.97----2.06
2-------$1.69------4.21----2.12
3-------$2.29------3.62----1.81

Yes, literally half of each pack's weight was trimmings and scraps packed underneath the racks, in addition to what I removed. So, for each of these trimmed-to-St. Louis-style racks, I ultimately paid $3.26, $3.35, and $4.58, respectively, per pound for the privilege of trimming them myself.

This week, I took a closer look at the spares at the high-end grocery I frequent for the extensive wine selection-- they had already-trimmed spares on sale for $2.79/lb, and no scraps or breast bones buried under the racks in the packs. Here's what I got-- no more, no less. Think I'll stock up.

Tomatoes in January

My verticillium wilt-challenged creole tomatoes continue to soldier on in spite of their malady. Today, I counted 17 fruits set on the ever-expanding vines-- 18 if you count the one I knocked off by accident. Pulling down the shadecloth on that end of the greenhouse last week seems to have been a good idea.

I downloaded several winter kale recipes today in hopes of harvesting and consuming most of it before I turn my attention to a spring tomato crop-- one that does not include the apparently-resistant-to-nothing creoles. I may try Better Boy, Celebrity, plum, Roma, cherry or Sweet 100's.

I plan to convert the 5-gallon containers from last summer to Dutch pots, which should comfortably house tomatoes, and perhaps some cucumbers, bell peppers and squash, all of which should hopefully do nicely on the same nutrient.

[January 31st: Make that 30 tomatoes.]
[February 8th: I stopped counting at 40.]
[February 12th: 51.]

Weber Bullet Quick & Tasty Chicken Thighs

I bought a pack of chicken thighs to try something different on the Bullet. Lately, it's been mostly pork and beef, with the odd holiday turkey thrown in. And, of course, my favorite: pastrami.

I had read that most BBQ teams use chicken thighs in competition. And it makes sense-- they're relatively quick cooking and somewhat forgiving on over-doneness, so you can concentrate on flavors of seasonings, marinades, etc. without worrying about the dryness often possible in over-done white meat.

The pack I purchased contained a dozen small bone-in thighs-- 3 lbs. total. I prepped them 24 hours in advance by placing them in a large ziplock bag with 8 oz. of Paul Newman's Parmesan & Roasted Garlic dressing.

Figuring I wanted to cook quick and hot, I made use of a single Weber chimney-full of leftover used briquets, which is essentially the same as using hotter-burning lump charcoal. I was shooting for 300*, measured at the top grate. I figured the hotter coals and short cooking time would make this amount of fuel sufficient.

While the charcoal fired up, I removed the thighs from the marinade, and lightly sprinkled them on both sides with McCormick's Montreal Chicken Seasoning.

In 30 minutes, the charcoal was ready, and I dumped it into the charcoal ring. I assembled the cooker, leaving the foil-lined water pan dry. I added two small chunks of hickory to the top of the coals, and placed the chicken pieces on the top grate skin-side up.

Outside temp was 42*. The cooker temp stabilized at 250* with all vents wide open, so I employed a rarely-used trick of propping the access door open about a half-inch to allow more oxygen to the fire. The temp increased to 290* in short order.

At the one hour mark, I checked several of the thighs with an instant read themometer, and they all read 176-178*-- done, and with a perfect golden brown color.

The result was fabulous. Tender and flavorful, the combination of marinade, seasoning and smoke were perfect. No sauce was necessary. I had seconds, and thirds.

This is an example of a great quick cook on the Weber Bullet, and cheap, too. The thighs were $.69/lb, and the charcoal was essentially free. I look forward to doing more again real soon.

Strange Day

Went to the New Orleans Museum of Art today for the members' preview of the The Quest for Immortality: Treasures of Ancient Egypt exhibit.

As the exhibition title suggests, the focus was the ancient Egyptians' "denial of the physical impermanence of life". Featured were works of art, jewelry, sculpture, funerary paraphernalia, an actual mummy, and a recreation of the burial chamber of King Thutmose III. Not as much bling-bling, but more artifacts than King Tut.

Numbered exhibits also included narration through handheld radio players, which was very useful in explaining the complex hieroglyphic detail rendered on the interior walls of the burial chamber and the story it told.

As we exited the exhibit, we were suprised to see the man himself, Zahi Hawass, Egypt's Secretary General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities, signing copies of his book Secrets from the Sand: My Search for Egypt's Past. But that wasn't what made the day strange...

On the way to the museum, on a side street we often take in this area of town, a vehicle slowed in front of us. In the back seat was a woman berating the other occupants of the car as she tried to exit the vehicle while it was still moving. Her escape was impeded when her sandal became trapped under the rear wheel of the car as it stopped.

The driver then backed up slightly to allow her to free her foot, but she continued to complain as she again attempted to exit the car. As she did, someone still inside the car tried to keep her from leaving (escaping?), apparently, by holding onto her dress, a knee-length denim shift, which quickly rose above her waist, and then-- when the buttons down the back of it disengaged-- came completely off!

So here's this blonde standing stark naked, and I do mean nekked-- except for the aforementioned sandals-- in the middle of the street, holding her dress, and continuing to curse at the occupants of the car (who, incidently, did not happen to share her ethnic background, if you get my drift). The driver then pulled the car off to the side as the woman, still ranting, slipped back into her garment. It seemed like a good time, at that point, to continue on to the museum.

Greenhouse

My container garden project this spring would have gone a lot better except for two things. One, a weeklong period of hot sun with no rain really took a toll on the tomato plants, even though I set up a system to spray mist the foliage. Second, at some point, the critters started finding my plants-- I must have thrown out over a dozen affected tomatoes.

Having my plants in a greenhouse would have-- or should have-- solved both of these problems. With the embarkation on my hydroponic system, I decided to construct a small greenhouse.

I found plans on the internet for a simple structure using PVC pipe to create a quonset hut-shaped "hoop house". Covered with 6 mil clear polyethylene film and strategically placed shade cloth, it should keep out critters, control temperature, and retain moisture.

I decided on making it 9'x12' since I have a slab extending my patio of roughly those dimensions that I rarely use. In that location, it will get good wind protection from the west and north, but it will still have to be anchored down to prevent any mishaps. With the addition of an exhaust fan and some venting, I should be able to provide an environment conducive to some vegetables, lettuces, and herbs.

I bolted together a frame out of treated 2x6s on-edge, nine by twelve feet, to fit on a section of my patio. 10 by 12 or even 12 by 12 would have worked using the same PVC and plastic sheeting. Using some mending plates, I made some L-shaped brackets to secure the frame to the slab.

The ribs are made from 3/4" schedule 40 PVC, 10 foot lengths. Using 3/4" crosses and tees, the ribs are joined together spaced 24" apart. The top crossbar is from pieces cut 22-3/8" (I think) to achieve the 24" spacing once assembled. I did not use cement, but, in retrospect, should have, as one end joint worked loose over time from minor shifting in the wind. A 10 ft. length of 1/2" electrical conduit inserted inside the top bar before the last end rib is installed aids rigidity. The ribs are secured at the bottom with heavy gauge pipe straps-- I think you need to buy 1" to fit 3/4" PVC-- on the inside of the 2x6 frame.

The cover is 6mil polyfilm sheeting from Home Depot. I have plenty left to re-do it whenever it becomes necessary-- a roll 20 feet wide by 100 feet long was around $60. (What's on there now still looks OK after nearly a year.) I made a dozen or so clamps from 1" PVC by cutting slices 1-1/2" in length and then removing a bit more than a quarter of their circumference, and sanding all sharp edges and points smooth. I applied the film on the ends first, wrapping from the inside, over the top of the end ribs, and making a short slit at the top center to fit around the top crossbar. Then a 13 by 20 foot piece went over the top, and both the end sheets and the top were secured by the same clamps at several points. Finally, the bottom of the sheeting was secured all around from the inside by folding it inward and screwing 2" treated lath into the top of the 2x6s with the poly sandwiched between. Additional items included an X-shaped brace on one end to add rigidity, and a screen door made of treated 1x2s on the other.

You can get by in the winter months using a cheap box fan for airflow, but in the summer an enclosed hoop house such as this will need some serious ventilation to keep the temperature in line. Shade cloth alone won't cut it. You might even consider making the ends out of screen instead of plastic.

Hydroponics

While researching a problem I was having with my container gardening project, I ran across something rather interesting-- hobbyist hydroponics. While I was aware of the concept of growing plants without soil-- a recent visit to Walt Disney World had an exhibit featuring various hydroponic systems on a large scale-- I was not aware how many people grow vegetables, herbs, etc, successfully on a small scale.

I found that there are several techniques to grow hydroponically, and that-- compared to growing in soil-- the results are fantastic. For example, the time from planting tomato seedlings to harvesting vine-ripe mature fruits is significantly shortened-- from three months or more down to as little as eight weeks.

I decided to embark upon a new project, and build my own hydroponic system. I settled on a particular design that employed a hybrid concept to supply nutrients to the plants.

It might be best to take a moment and discuss some of the various hydroponic methodologies. The simplest involves just dripping a nutrient solution over the root area of a plant which is physically supported by an inert medium like pea gravel, perlite, or the like. The nutrient is then "discarded", meaning it is not recirculated over the plant roots again. This isn't a very efficient or cost-effective method, so it is rarely used.

Another simple technique is to create a bubbler system from plastic bucket-type containers. Stacking a 3.5 gallon bucket in a 5 gallon bucket is a popular design. The smaller bucket's bottom is perforated and then placed inside the larger The space between the bottoms of the buckets serves as a nutrient reservoir. An aquarium air pump is used to power a tube system that "bubbles up" nutrient solution from the reservoir to the top of the planting media in the top bucket where it trickles down over the roots and, ultimately, drips back into the reservoir through the perforated bottom.

A different approach employs a method know as "ebb and flow". In this method, plants are placed in an inert medium in small pots which are arranged in a large six-inch deep tray. Using a timer to control a pump in a reservoir below the tray, nutrient solution floods the tray-- and the pots-- for a specific interval, and then drains back to the reservoir. During this "ebb" time, the plant roots are kept moist by the growing medium, but are also exposed to increased amount of oxygen.

A system similar to ebb and flow, but simpler, is called deep flow. Pots remain submerged in nutrient solution, but the solution is oxygenated and recirculated constantly.

A more sophisticated system, called NFT-- Nutrient Film Technique-- employs the concepts of both feeding and supplying increased oxygen to the roots, but does them at the same time. Plants are situated in an inert medium in "net pots", which are plastic pots with many small slots in their sides and bottom. The pots are inserted in the covers of plastic channels, known as gullies, through which a shallow film of nutrient solution flows. The slots in the pots allow roots to grow through the pots down into the nutrient film.

An offshoot of hydroponics is aeropononics. Also a soilless growing method, aeroponics goes one step further to almost eliminate the growing medium itself. In an aeroponic system, plants are suspended with their roots hanging in an opaque chamber. Nutrient is sprayed on the roots or misted in the chamber either constantly or at specific intervals.

My hybrid system employs elements of deep flow, NFT and aeroponics. Rather than have nutrient pumped in at one end of a gully to flow past roots on its way back to the reservoir, it is instead sprayed onto the net pots at each plant site. Additionally, the drain at the reservoir end of the gully is adjustable, allowing the depth of the film flowing down the bottom of the gully to be varied from very thin all the way up to nearly filling the gully. This adjustability allows seedlings placed in the system to start out under the deep flow technique, and, as their roots grow longer, the depth can be lowered allowing more oxygen to the roots in a hybrid aeroponic/NFT system.

This is not an original design. I found a commercially available system that very apparently uses mostly commonly available materials in its construction, so I decided to build one myself. After a few hiccups, I eventually got everything I needed and assembled the system. Some pics here.

Weber Bullet Grilling

I wanted to grill some burgers, but the gas grill has been long neglected since I got my Weber Bullet. It would take more time to clean it up just for some burgers than time allowed. A George Foreman grill is quick-- burgers in five minutes-- but lacks that certain something that gives a good burger character. Looking out the back door, there was the Bullet and just enough charcoal leftovers for a quick cook.

I assembled the Bullet, bottom vents open, and placed the charcoal grate and ring on the brackets normally used for the lower cooking grate. I lit the Weber Chimney, two-thirds full of leftover briquets and smoke wood, which took about 15 minutes to get going. I dumped the coals into the ring, banked to one side so I could have a hot zone and a medium zone.

The whole cook took about 22 minutes to achieve medium doneness. I even toasted the buns on the far edge away from the coals. After the burgers came off, it was just like any other Bullet cook-- close it up and let the coals go out.

What have we learned? The difference between a bland burger and a great one is about 27 minutes.

Full size pictures from this cook.

5-Gallon Bucket Garden Container Project

I came up with an idea to use a couple of 5-gallon plastic buckets to approximate an Earthbox-type planter. The buckets happen to stack with about 4 inches of space between the bottoms of the two. This space will serve as a water reservoir.

I cut a 3-1/2-inch hole in the bottom of one bucket, as well as 16 3/8" holes for soil aeration. A 16-ounce plastic Solo or Dixie cup placed in the hole serves as the "wick" for the potting mix to absorb water. Cutting slits in it allows the water to pass through.

The only mod to the lower/outer bucket was to drill a 3/8" hole in the side just below the bottom edge of the upper/inner bucket, to serve as an overflow and to allow air in. One of the 3/8" holes near the edge of the inner bucket was enlarged to accept a length of 1" rigid plastic aquarium tube for a water fill tube. I purchased a single bucket lid, in which I cut a 3" hole in the center for a single tomato plant, and also a 1" hole to accomodate the watering tube. Before putting the lid on, I spread about a cup of granular fertilizer in a thin ring around the outer edge of the surface of the potting mix. Then the lid was put on and the tomato plant was planted thru the center hole. Should be enough to sustain a single plant for an entire season.

Project cost: Buckets $2.50 (x2); lid $.97; 1"x18" tube $1.50; plastic cup free; 25 dry quarts potting mix $2.99; 1 cup dry fertilizer and 1 cup hydrated lime (to condition soil for tomatoes) ~ $.50. Total approx. $11.00.

Photos here.

Tri-Tip Roast

Wanting a change from brisket, but still looking for a cut of beef to slow-cook, I decided to try a tri-tip roast. They usually average two pounds as typically trimmed by your grocer. This one was a USDA Choice, priced at $2.99/lb. at a local supermarket. I got started at around 11:30am, figuring it to be done, rested and ready to eat by about 5:00pm.

While firing up a Weber chimney-and-a-half of charcoal, I trimmed some fat off the roast to leave about a 1/8-inch layer. I then coated it lightly with olive oil, and sprinkled on some McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning-- great on grilled steaks-- surprisingly good on slow-cooked beef barbecue. By 12:30pm, the coals were ready and I put the meat on the top grate. I added a large chunk of hickory, and a medium chunk of oak. With the bottom vents all closed, the temp dropped quickly from 315� to 210. I opened two bottom vents about 1/3 each, and the temp rose only to about 225. I then remembered I was using only 3/4 of the amount of charcoal I usually do, so I cracked the 2 vents to about 1/2 open each, which brought me to my target 240-250� range.

Things sailed along fine, and, at about 3:00pm, I broke out the digital probe thermometer to find I was already at 159�. I was going to be done much sooner than anticipated. It's probably because I didn't have anything else cooking, so there was nothing but the roast to absorb the heat energy. Within a half hour, I was at 165. No matter-- I wrapped it in heavy foil and towels, and put it into a small ice chest to await dinner time. The temperature declined slowly, and since it dropped to 145 before I was ready to eat, I placed it in a 165� warm oven until a little later.

At 5:30pm, I carved it into 1/4-inch thick slices, and served it as-is. It was very tender and had good flavor, but I think I still prefer brisket.

Whole Brisket

I did a 9.75 pound whole brisket yesterday, and, while not the best I've done, it was OK. I didn't have time for an extended cook, so I decided to forego cooking it whole, and separated the flat from the point and divided the flat approximately in half so I could remove the thinner half if it got done sooner.

The result was an 8 hour cook to reach 185* in the larger flat piece, with temps hanging rock-solid (not exaggerating-- I barely nudged the vents twice in 8 hours) at 240*. I left the point on for another 90 minutes-- until the coals were on their last legs.

The flat, sliced after resting, was very tender, but not as juicy or flavorful as my last brisket flat. I blame this on a couple of things: One, I was a bit lax on basting, even though I did turn at the half-times (at the 4, 6, and 7 hour marks). Two, it was an $.88/lb. select brisket. I think I can remediate this one with some careful re-heating procedures, though. (Update: a reheat of the sliced brisket in a warm oven in a shallow foil-covered dish with one cup of vegetable broth pre-heated in the microwave, for about 10 minutes did the trick.)

The point I shredded immediately upon removal, gave it a light sprinkle of rub, and mixed well. A taste test proved I'm gonna have some fabulous sandwiches this week.

Brisket Flat

I bought a trimmed brisket flat for $1.19/lb. At about 4.75 pounds, it woudn't be an extended cook. A "flat" is one of two parts that comprise a "whole" brisket. The other part, known as a "point" is not usually offered for sale separately. The point is typically fattier than the flat. The two parts are essentially two different muscles from the breast area of the cow connected in a sort of offset manner by a vein of fat. Brisket flats are usually offered trimmed of most if not all of the layer of fat known as the "fat cap".

I prepped the flat the night before, by sprinkling both sides liberally with McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning. Sounds unconventional, but it proved very tasty.

Firing up the Bullet conventionally, I used 2 Weber chimneyfulls of Kingsford. I took the opportunity to try out my new Polder remote digital thermometer.

Temperatures on the Bullet stabilized quickly, and I added the meat and inserted the thermometer probe. I also threw on a slab of pork spares-- next to the brisket on the top grate-- and two butterflied four pound chickens on the middle grate . Over the next several hours, the temperatures hung rock-solid at 240�.

The meat temp rose slowly, but, suddenly, the remote thermometer reading jumped up 30� in a matter of seconds. I tested with an instant read, and found the remote to be in error. I turned off the remote, and then turned it back on, hoping it was just momentarily confused. It seemed to return to normal. Later, it did it again, so I just removed it, and decided to spot check with the instant read from time to time, when I turned and basted. Later I tried the remote again, this time to read cooker temperature, and it misbehaved similarly.

At some point, around 3-1/2 hours, I checked the chickens, which were done, and removed them to a warm oven to await dinner. At the 5-1/2 hour mark, I removed the ribs, sauced and foiled them, and placed them the oven along with the chickens. I later pulled the brisket flat when it reached 180� internal, and let it rest before slicing.

The ribs were very tender and tasty, but the brisket was the star-- fork tender, juicy,and flavorful. I'll try a whole one next time.

Garden in a Box

Last summer, I had a bit of success growing some herbs in pots out on the patio. I had out-of-control basil and some rather robust chives, but the oregano, thyme, and mint were pretty much a waste of time. This year, I decided to splurge and order two of the gardening container known as the Earthbox.

I had read about the Earthbox before, after seeing two of them at a home I visited when we obtained our second cat. At 30 inches long by 15 wide by 12 inches tall, they don't require a lot of room, but are supposed to produce fantastic amounts of produce for the space and resources they use.

Last summer, I had purchased pots locally-- that work somewhat like the Earthbox-- to test the methodology. The design of the Earthbox includes a perforated platform to raise the potting mix about 3 inches off the bottom of the container. Two "wells" in the rear corners allow the soil to extend down into the bottom water reservoir. A large tube in the front corner provides a duct to add water to the 2.2 gallon reservoir. 50 to 60 dry quarts (2.5 cu. ft.) of potting mix are used to fill the box all the way to the top. After pouring two cups of dry granular fertilizer in a two-inch wide stripe in a manner appropriate for the plants being grown, a plastic "mulch cover" is stretched over the top.

The theory of this system is that plants take up moisture and nutrients "on demand", with the water only being soaked up as needed, and the fertilizer similarly leeching into the soil from the stripe on the surface. The raised perforated platform allows soil aeration. The mulch cover serves to keep out weeds, and its dark color helps warm the soil. A hole in the side of the box just beneath the level of the raised platform prevents over-watering-- just add water until it overflows the hole.

According to the amount of space and resources required, plants are planted by cutting holes in the mulch cover and creating a suitable hole in the potting mix. Tomato plants, for example, are limited to two plants per box, while other herbs or vegetables may be planted at the rate of up to 10 or more per box.

I chose to do two tomato plants in one box, and a variety of things in the other. For the second, I put a Japanese eggplant in one rear corner, and a bell pepper in the the other. I modified the fertilizer striping technique slightly to allow for a triangular area in the front center, where I put in a basil plant. I may also add some other small herbs in this area later.

If all goes as advertised, I should have more tomatoes than I know what to do with. I'll add some pictures as things progress. I'm encouraged by the success I had with the small pots last summer-- they, too, "sipped" water from a reservoir beneath a raised platform. I even planted seeds from an orange I ate, and now have two twelve-inch tall trees. Wonder how big they'd be by now in an Earthbox?

My Earthboxes

Wishbone Ash - The Sound of Freshly-Strung Electric Guitars

What's this "sound of freshly-strung electric guitars" business?

If you ever had a guitar, and you put new strings on it, you'd know that's when a guitar sounds its best. Granted, they tend to de-tune somewhat as they stretch, but new strings have a certain ring and a sound quality they don't keep for long, even after they've been played on just a few times.

Sorry, enough "zen guitar strings". Why devote a page on a website to this band who had only limited commercial success? You've heard the song "Blowin' Free", even though you may not recognize the song from the name.

Here's the scoop. What's special about this band is that they were the innovators of the legendary twin-lead guitar sound. You could argue that Thin Lizzy or even the Allmans were doing it at the same time, but it's generally accepted that WA was first.

Bands that came later with two guitarists unwilling to be second-banana to eachother owe them a great debt. No, this is not to say that their guitarists had ego problems-- quite the opposite. With a twin-lead arrangement, if one player errs, everybody sounds bad. Talent and team-work are prerequisite.

Obviously, this was a brave departure from the three-chord rock prevalent at the time. And, unfortunately, the pop music-listening masses continued to patronize the pedestrian. Maybe it's because they didn't shoot cannons or fireworks, wear make-up, have The Big Hair, or date Cher. They were notorious only for their talent. (Now, come to think of it, they did use that Peter Frampton talk-box thingie a couple of times, but to much better artistic effect I would have to say... but, I digress...)

Now, fast-forward twenty-five-plus years, and... they're still at it! And, though-- except for guitarist Andy Powell-- bandmembers change, or leave to pursue other projects, then come back for a while, then go off again-- the original vision remains-- creating, recording, touring, evolving. Their recent releases "Live at Geneva" and "Illuminations" are worth a listen.

Enjoy the link below.

Go to: Official Wishbone Ash Band Web Site

ADSL - A Glossary of Terms

ADSL - Asymmetric Digital Subcriber Line: A technology for transmitting digital information at high speeds on existing copper phone lines.
ANT - ADSL Network Termination: The ADSL "modem".
Cable Modem - A device that enables you to hook up your PC to a local cable TV line and receive data at about 1.5 Mbps.
CAT3 - Category 3: A communication cable specification denoting mainly the number of twists per foot per pair. More twists mean less signal degradation. CAT5 is better, and currently the standard for computer network cabling.
CLEC - Competitive Local Exchange Carrier: A company that competes with the already established local telephone business by providing its own network and switching.
CPE - Customer Premise Equipment: The parts of the connection to the telephone network on the customer side of the demarcation point. Basically, the inside wiring and telephone sets.
CO - Central Office: An office in a locality to which subscriber home and business lines are connected on what is called a local loop. Demarcation Point - or "Demarc": The boundary at which responsibility for maintenance and repairs of a telephone service move from the telco to the customer (and vice-versa). Usually at the box on the side of the house, or, at a business, a wire termination device called an RJ21X.
DHCP - Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol: a protocol that lets network administrators manage centrally and automate the assignment of IP addresses in a network.
DSLAM - Digital Subscriber Line Access Multiplexer: a network device, usually at a telephone company central office, that receives signals from multiple customer Digital Subscriber Line connections and puts the signals on a high-speed backbone line using multiplexing techniques.
GWAN - Global Wide Area Network: The Internet, or the Internet Service Provider to which your ISP is connected.
ISDN - Integrated Services Digital Network: The integration of both analog or voice data together with digital data over the same network.
ISP - Internet Service Provider.
NIC - Network Interface Card. Your computer's interface to the network.
NID - Network Interface Device: Fancy name for the box on the side of your house where the phone lines are hooked up to your house wiring.
RBOC - Regional Bell Operating Company: Like BellSouth, PacBell, etc.
RGBY - Red/Green/Black/Yellow: The four colors used in standard household telephone wire.
VoD - Video On Demand: Technology wherein video is supplied on a client/server basis.

''Official'' Bio

Seems everyone with a personal website has to give you their biography, and most are like reading the mimeographed letter that you used to receive annually in some people's Christmas cards. I thought I should have a bio, too. So, here it is:

Enigmatic pop-culture icon, inspiration to millions world-wide. Wit, raconteur, international playboy, Hee Haw regular, and frequent guest on the old Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Star Search - winning male vocalist, groundbreaking blues guitarist, in-demand studio musician, baritone sax player for the "Marching 100". One of the original Pips. Grammy winner in Middle-Aged Metal category for the scorching rendition of "Back in Plaid" with his band Hemorrhoidal Tendencies. Rumored to be the inventor of Slick50� motor oil treatment. 60 Minutes foreign correspondent, fluent in over 137 languages, Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Oscar-winning director, as well as Hollywood stunt double. (Are you buying any of this?) Fishing/hunting buddy of William F. Buckley and Ted Nugent. Cordon Bleu chef, fitness guru, gifted psychic adviser to the stars. Recommended by top breeders. Accomplished manualist, astounding mentalist, 70's porn legend, and TV breakfast cereal spokesman. Tennis phenomenon, scratch golfer, NASCAR champion. Calvin Klein underwear model, original MTV VeeJay, and former bodyguard and close personal confidant of "The King".

ADSL In Retrospect, 3 Years Later

After a few bumps in the road:

I'm knocking on wood that writing this won't jinx things -- it's been almost a year without any significant glitches.

Just prior to that time, I was having reasonably reliable service, but happened upon a startling revelation. While helping a friend with a cablemodem problem, I thought to myself that their connection sure was a lot snappier than mine. When I got home and acted on my hunch, I found my throughput only a third of what it was supposed to be -- 420kb/sec rather than 1.5Mb/sec.

I made contact again with a former BS tech who had previously helped me with a hardware issue. He gave me the scoop on how to get BS to act when your connection is only operating at the "guaranteed" speed rather than the "advertised" speed. You see, DSL speeds vary with your distance from the central office -- the further you are, the slower it gets. But, at 12,000 feet it's not supposed to anywhere near as low as mine was.

Anyway, I was able to get them to come out, and check it over from end to end. The final result -- the drop from the pole to my house was changed and my speed increased to 600kb/sec.

I called the former tech back with the bad news. His advice was to try to get another modem -- maybe mine was just bad. So, on a whim, I hooked up an old modem I had had a problem with before which was replaced by BS themselves, and bam(!), I was up to blazing full speed. Talk about ironic.

ADSL First Impressions

Here's the update on the first two weeks of ADSL:

When it's hot, it's hot, and when it's not, well.....

Initially, I was thrilled with BellSouth ADSL. I am cautious about calling it "access", or "service", as both of those have been lacking. It's been up more than it's been down it's just that I wish it was down while I was at work or asleep, and not evenings and weekends.

So far, there have been 3 or 4 outages, most around 5 hours long, and the last started mid-afternoon 1/9, and lasted until late evening 1/10 - about 30 hours. Very disconcerting for only 14 days of "service".

Seems IP addresses are assigned via DHCP. This is because there are a finite number of IP addresses available. This works great if there are enough addresses to handle the normal amount of users at a given time. It doesn't work so great when the server that's supposed to be handing out the IP addresses doesn't work.

About six hours into the last outage, I decided to call 888-321-ADSL for some "support". I told the tech, to whom I was connected instantly(!) that I was calling less for tech support and more to ask "When will this stop happening?" He admitted(!) they were having problems in some IP blocks and asked where I was located.

He asked if I would go thru the Release All/PowerOffModem/Shutdown Computer sequence and bring it back up. I knew it wouldn't help, but did it anyway. It didn't help.

He said they were having Alcatel, the ADSL modem manufacturer, come in to tell them why this was happening with their modems. I said, "You mean the modems at the CO end?" I'm not clear if he really said yes to that one or not. I don't think it's the modems.

I said it was nice to get tech support that didn't just blame my end, even if he couldn't fix my problem.

Today, 1/11/99, it's been up since last night with no apparent problem. I will keep you informed.

ADSL Installation

Here's the scoop on the ADSL installation:

Intallation was scheduled for 9 a.m, with a window of arrival between 8 and 10 a.m. Even though I received no phone call, the installer, Jeff, showed up right on time, just before nine.

My first question was, "Are you a phone company guy, trained to do these installs, or are you with bellsouth.net?" His answer was, essentially, "Neither." He informed me that he worked for a sub-contractor, doing these installs for bellsouth.net.

First order of business was to give Jeff the lay of the land. I thought I was smart in hooking up a dedicated pair of the CAT3 wiring running through my house in advance for the jack where the ADSL modem was to be connected. Two lengths of RGBY ran from my NID to each end of the CAT3 wiring loop in my house. By loop, I mean that the CAT3 cable starts in one phone jack, and is "looped" thru each successive jack in the house, until it reaches the last. Each length of RGBY, for redundancy's sake, runs to each in-wall box containing the ends of the CAT3.

Jeff unboxed the modem, powered it up and plugged it in. Problem number one: the modem just wouldn't lock onto the signal. To eliminate problems you start at the beginning. We took the modem outside to the NID and plugged it in there - perfect signal lock. The nightmare was about to begin.

Our next problem came from the fact that the new NID BellSouth installed as a requirement for the ADSL service contains a compartment that the ADSL subcontractors are forbidden to access. This compartment conceals fuses and the actual connection point where your house wiring meets the telco wiring coming from the pole. Since both runs of RGBY were connected together in this compartment, it was impossible to isolate them from one another - something necessary to install the external splitter AND not have to run a new phone jack for the ADSL modem.

After much chin scratching, talking of delaying the install (horrors!), and even considering opening the sacred inner compartment (which Jeff would not do himself), we settled on running a length of fresh CAT3 from the NID into the attic just far enough to cut and splice into the appropriate run of RGBY. You see, the splitter has to be the "initial", the first device between the telco and the customer's wiring. Of course, attic-crawling was also something Jeff was forbidden to do, due to liability issues.

So, up into the attic I went, armed with a flashlight, some long-reach tongs to grab the wire, Jeff's channel-locks and some neat-o wiring connectors, all set to fish the wire and make the splice. Piece of cake? No such luck. The modem still would not lock on.

Out came the test-tone generator. We called my security system installer for advice. (Did I forget to mention the security system was also wired into the forbidden inner compartment, as it also wanted to be the "initial" device?) Jeff called his boss for advice. We couldn't get a signal lock no matter what we tried. Test-tone signal showed up at every phone jack in the house - not good. Jeff's next appointment was minutes away. Jeff started putting away his tools - a bad sign. "Hold on, Jeff!"

All my visions of this no-muss, no-fuss, super-clean ADSL install were disintegrating. The six-gang box of CAT5 RJ45 jacks I had installed days before was now useless junk. But I was determined to have my ADSL connection - reschedule was not in my vocabulary.

Luckily for me, Jeff's 12 o'clock cancelled. I had a reprieve! Only one alternative left - run wire all the way from the NID, through the attic, down the wall of the computer room closet, into the room.

Back into the attic I went - more wire, more connectors, a cordless drill. The battery on my drill got halfway through the header and died... Could anything else go wrong today? Back to the stairs to get Jeff's cordless. Back to the far end of the attic again.

Our efforts were worth it. Jeff said the modem synched-up very fast, indicating a primo signal. He installed the NIC, and got it configured, then phoned in to get me registered. I waited on hold for him so he could finish mounting the splitter outside.

After some initial glitches and a reboot of the computer and the modem, we were ready to rock. Jeff browsed into BellSouth's ftp site and picked a nice 13 megabyte file. Down it came, starting off at 20KB/sec, and climbing by the second. It reached 80KB/sec before it finished. But, as Jeff explained, most files finish downloading before the stream gets up to top speed because they just aren't that big.

Relieved, Jeff was on his way, vowing never again to brag about how well an installer's day went (as he had done the day before). I, too, had to run - having foolishly assured my co-workers that I should probably be at my desk no later than eleven. No time to even test-drive my wonderful new toy.

That night, I experimented with some larger files and hit over 100KB/sec, and, at a test site, downloaded a 2 megabyte file in 15 seconds.

The errors about NIC conflicts that WIN98 reported in the beginning have apparently vanished. I have 2 NICs in the ADSL machine - one connected to the modem, the other connecting the machine to the rest of the LAN. They seem to have somehow learned to coexist after initial disharmony. I'm not asking any questions.

The problem with the house wiring was that what appeared to be CAT3 either wasn't up to spec, or permitted unacceptable cross-talk because it wasn't jacketed or its twists were not maintained. If there's a lesson in this story, it's this: Unless your house is already wired with CAT5, have a dedicated line run from the NID to your computer, and eliminate the headaches and uncertainties your house wiring might possibly pose. And you'll get the best possible signal strength, too.

ADSL

I feel the need.... fer speed!

ADSL is coming to town. The Asymmetric Digital Subcriber Line is the latest high- speed data offering from BellSouth and other RBOCs and CLECs. At up to 1.5Mbps (Megabits per sec.), it's almost like getting web pages right off your own hard drive.

ADSL rivals cable-modem service for the next-wave cool Internet hook-up. Unlike cable-modem, though, you don't share the bandwidth with the rest of your neighborhood. Your high-speed connection travels right to the phone company CO, where it is run through the DSLAM and ramped right onto the GWAN.

In the [hopefully] never-ending quest to bring higher and higher speed Internet access [for a price] to mortals like you and me, somebody figured out that-- if your house is 18,000 feet or less from the CO and there are no load coils, amplifiers, or other phone company gizmos in the path (like fiber-optics, oddly enough)-- data can be carried on your telephone line at what are basically AM radio band frequencies, at up to 8Mbps (downstream, under ideal conditions). So, 1.5Mbps should be a piece of cake. And the best part is that it's super-imposed right onto your regular line, so you can talk on the phone while you surf! And it's always on-- no dialing or waiting to connect!

BTW, ADSL was initially conceived for VoD, which only requires 4Mbps. This could be so cool...

I submitted the online qualification form in mid- October, and received an e-mail confirmation that my line qualified about ten days later. Whew! (Not only does your service area have to pass the test, so does your individual phone line.)

Being understandably anxious, I rang up the ADSL folks at BellSouth to see what the time frame might be. I got the expected reply, essentially "We have your order. We'll call you..." I even called twice, just to check the consistency of their answers. Both asked when had I received the online confirmation. One said expect 6-8 weeks. The other said 3-4 weeks. Bummer...

The other bummer will be paying an early- cancellation fee on the ISDN line. Last October, they had a special and waived the $200 installation fee (for which an engineer was required only to tie a tag with the ISDN numbers to the end of the wire pair at my house) in exchange for a 2-year commitment.

But, hey! Switching to ADSL, I'll recoup the penalty and the cost of the ADSL modem and installation in only 6 months! And I won't have to fork over an additional $1K a year for a second phone line! And I'll be slurping down web pages and files at over 25 times the speed I am now! Baaahaha!

The initial roll-out for BellSouth ADSL is limited to Atlanta, Birmingham, Charlotte, Fort Lauderdale/South Florida, Jacksonville, New Orleans, and Raleigh. If you're not in one of those BS markets, you'll have to wait a while longer.

mp3oE

MP3oE? Yeah! MP3 over Ethernet!

I became increasingly aware, the more I collected MP3 files, that I really wasn't going to want to sit in front of my computer to listen to all this great music. Heck, I have a great sound system in the den, but how to go about playing them in that sonically superior environment?

The answer, fortunately, wasn't too difficult, nor all that expensive. Most of what I needed was in the closet - all those leftovers from five-plus years of computer upgrades. I had a case with motherboard and processor, memory, and a moderate- sized hard drive. But the thought of buying a monitor and keyboard, let alone aesthetically integrating same into the home theater, gave me pause.

A little web research gave me a solution I could live with. Since I was already running a home network (you know - hers, mine, and the other one that talks to the DSL), all I needed was another NIC and a sound card with some good specs. I picked up an extra 100baseT card, and a Turtle Beach A3DXstream for under fifty bucks for the both.

The dreaded crawl through the attic to run the cable to the den really wasn't that bad, as I had previously drilled holes to drop the surround speaker wires inside the wall behind the entertainment system.

Now, you ask, how to run a PC without monitor or keyboard? The answer - simply, elegantly, and best of all for free. I found a program called VNC that lets me control the den PC from any other machine on the network. It's a little kludgy, but for free, who cares? All I had to do was set the MP3 box to boot up without a keyboard, and put the VNC server in its Windows StartUp group.

I can queue up about a hundred MP3s in WinAmp, and then kick back for hours. And the MP3s can be served from any machine on the network.

Addendum: Initially, I was somewhat disappointed by the sound quality - there was an annoying hum. Even if the MP3 box was off, there was a hum from the speakers. Unplug the PC, and it went away. After a little more web research, and some process of elimination, I found that the problem was a ground loop. Now it sounds great!

Sugar Free Recipes

Here are some Sugar Free recipes I've accumulated over time. Included are Whole Wheat Pizza Crust, Whole Wheat Bread, Quick Barbecue Sauce, German-style Sweet Potato Salad, Hummus, Creamy Cole Slaw, Cucmber Tomato Onion Salad, and Baked Beans.

Doug's Whole Wheat Pizza Dough Recipe

Your favorite independently-owned pizzeria may be willing to make your pizza for you using your own dough. Usually the only remaining source of sugar would be in the sauce, so ask for light sauce.

Either mix and knead the dough by hand, or use your bread machine's dough cycle for about the first fifteen minutes and then press the stop button.

For a medium 12" pizza:

1-1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp. water
1 Tbsp. extra-light olive oil
1/4 tsp. salt
1 Tbsp. non-fat dry milk
1/2 tsp. active dry yeast
2 Tbsp. wheat gluten

For a 16" large pizza
increase to:
2-2/3 cups
3/4 cup plus 3 Tbsp.
1-1/2 Tbsp.
1/2 tsp.
2 Tbsp.
1/2 tsp.
3 Tbsp.

The dough should form into a smooth ball. Not too sticky or a couple more tablespoons of flour may be necessary; not too dry (it won't make a ball) or a couple more tablespoons of water may be added.

A short rest of fifteen minutes is recommended (in the car on the way to the pizzeria). Pizza dough doesn't really need to rise. The small amount of yeast really just prevents the dough from being cracker-like.

The last ingredient is very important, as it is what gives the dough elasticity. It is also known as "vital wheat gluten" or "wheat gluten flour". You may have to check a few different groceries or a health food store to find it. (True whole wheat breads won't rise without it.)

Tell your pizza maker that he may not be able to throw your dough like his regular dough without it tearing, but his experience with dough, in general, will tell him what he should be able to get away with. The dough may just have to be formed by hand on the board.

If you're doing it yourself at home, I would recommend you not attempt the pizzeria "throw".

Enjoy!

Doug's Real Whole Wheat Bread

Most store-bought whole-wheat breads are half whole-wheat flour and half regular processed flour, not good for Sugar Busters dieters. This recipe uses only whole-wheat flour.

Mix all ingredients thoroughly in a bowl and knead the dough on a wheat floured board.

4 cups whole wheat flour
1-1/3 cup luke-warm water
1-1/2 Tbsp. extra-light olive oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1-1/2 Tbsp. non-fat dry milk
2-1/4 tsp. active dry yeast (1 packet)
4 Tbsp. wheat gluten

The dough should form into a smooth ball. Not too sticky or a couple more tablespoons of flour may be necessary; not too dry (it won't make a smooth ball) or a couple more tablespoons of water may be added.

Place dough in an oiled bowl and put it in a warm, draft-free place to rise for about 45 minutes, or until it has doubled its volume. In the oven with the light on is a perfect spot. Don't turn on the oven yet, though.

Next, lightly grease a 9" loaf pan and turn the dough into it. Form the dough so that it is evenly distributed in the pan. Doing this will "punch down" the dough. Return the dough in the loaf pan to the oven for a second rise.

When the dough has risen again, pre-heat the (empty) oven to 350°. Bake for 40 minutes. Remove bread from loaf pan and place on wire rack to cool.

This recipe also works in a bread machine although the ingredients must be reduced as follows:

3 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup luke-warm water
1 Tbsp. extra-light olive oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1 Tbsp. non-fat dry milk
2-1/4 tsp. active dry yeast (1 packet)
3 Tbsp. wheat gluten

Use the machine's regular bread cycle. Makes a standard 1-1/2 lb. loaf.

Doug's Quick Barbecue Sauce

Most store bought barbecue sauces have huge amounts of sugar or molasses in them. This one tastes just fine to me, and is easily made from ingredients typically found in a Sugarbuster's kitchen. Serves 4. Multiply ingredients as needed for larger batch.

1 cup no-sugar-added ketchup (Estee)
1 T. Worcestershire sauce
1 t. fine black pepper
1 T. lemon juice
1 t. Liquid Smoke (optional)

Mix together thoroughly, and heat in microwave 30 seconds. Use as a finishing sauce when barbecuing or grilling, or as a dipping sauce for ribs or pulled pork.

Doug's German Sweet Potato Salad

Since you can't eat potatoes on SB, I tend to experiment with sweet potatoes as a substitute. This German-style potato salad recipe, made with sweet potatoes is served warm, and is actually pretty tasty. Serves 4-8.

4 medium sweet potatoes, washed, peeled, and cut into 1/4 inch slices
1/2 medium onion, chopped
4 slices bacon, cooked crispy, crumbled
1/3 cup canola or light olive oil
2 T. cider vinegar
1/2 t. black pepper

Saute onion in oil until translucent. Boil sweet potato slices in lightly salted water until cooked just soft enough to divide a slice against the side of the pot with a wooden spoon. Drain well in a collander and transfer to a large bowl. Add bacon, onion and oil to cooked sweet potatoes and toss to mix. Splash in cider vinegar while continuing to toss. Add black pepper to taste. Serve while still warm.

Alternately, for more flavor, saute the onion in the bacon drippings, then use the drippings in place of part of the oil.

Doug's Hummus (Mideastern or Mediterranean Chick Pea Dip)

Just about every country in the Middle East, and well as the Mediterranean, has a recipe for hummus, served as a snack or side dish. Made of ground chickpeas (also called garbanzo beans), garlic, lemon juice and tahini-- which is a ground sesame seed butter-- it's also naturally SB friendly. Serves 4-8.

1 15 oz. can garbanzos (chick peas)
juice and zest of one medium lemon
2-3 cloves fresh garlic, peeled
3 T. tahini (aka tahina, tehina)(sesame paste)
1/3 c. extra virgin olive oil
1 T. fresh or dried parsley
1 t. Kosher salt or 1/2 t. table salt
pinch black pepper
4-6 whole wheat pita breads

You can do this in a food processor, but it comes out best using a high-speed stick-type hand blender such as a Braun. Use a regular-type blender only as a last resort. My description will assume a stick blender.

Drain garbanzos, reserving half the liquid. Place garbanzos and reserved liquid in mixing jar that came with stick blender. Add garlic, lemon juice and zest, salt, pepper, parsley, and tahini. Blend until pureed. Add olive oil and continue to blend until well incorporated. Warm pita breads in microwave for 30 seconds, and slice each into 6 wedge shaped pieces. Can be served immediately, but also can be refigerated and served chilled. Traditionally served at room temperature on a plate in a broad, shallow mound with the center hollowed out, some more extra virgin olive oil drizzled into the hollow (think hummus moon crater), and a pinch of the middle-eastern spice zatar lightly sprinkled over all.

If you don't want to spend $2.99 on a jar of tehina (spelling varies), subsitute no-sugar-added peanut butter - not quite the same, but still pretty good. If you do decide to get it, make sure the ingredients state "100% ground sesame seeds". There are products on the market with similar sounding names that are essentially a canned version of the dip.

Sugar Free Sweet Creamy Coleslaw

I love good barbecue, and with good barbecue you need coleslaw-- sweet, creamy coleslaw. Having eaten low sugar for years, I thought I would have to live without it, but a recipe I found recently gave me new hope:

1 16oz. package shredded cabbage or slaw mix
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 Tbsp. cider vinegar
1/4 tsp. black pepper
1/4 tsp. salt (may sub. celery salt)
4 to 6 packets Splenda sweetener
1 tsp. Tabasco or Tabasco Chipotle (optional)

Place cabbage in bowl. Mix all other ingredients thoroughly in a 2-cup measuring cup, pour over cabbage, and mix thoroughly. Let sit in covered bowl in refrigerator for best flavor/texture.

(Thanks to Keri Cathey of Tulsa, OK for this one.)

Cucumber Tomato Onion Salad (Sugar-free)

2 large cucumbers
2 cups grape tomatoes (1 pint)
1/2 med red onion
1/2 cup white vinegar
1/4 cup water
4 packets Splenda

Peel and halve or quarter cucumbers lengthwise and remove seeds. Slice into 1/4" slices. Slice tomatoes in thirds. Coarsely chop onion. Place all in shallow non-reactive bowl. Mix remaining ingredients together and pour over cucumbers, tomatoes, and onion. Mix thoroughly and refrigerate for a day, stirring occasionally.

Baked Beans (Sugar-free)

2 15.8 oz. cans Bush's Great Northerns
1/2 medium onion, diced
2 T. pork fat or 2 slices bacon chopped
2 T. Heinz One Carb© No Sugar Added Ketchup
2 T. Log Cabin Sugar Free Maple Syrup with Splenda
1 T. Yellow Mustard
1 T. Worcestershire Sauce
1 t. Your favorite dry rub

Drain one can only Great Northerns. Render pork fat (or bacon) in bottom of medium saucepan until liquified. Add onion and cook until clear. Add drained and undrained beans and remaining ingredients, mixing thoroughly. Simmer low 15-20 minutes.

You can actually oven finish these if you wish, since all sweetening is from Splenda, or serve directly from stovetop. If pork fat is trimmed from barbecued pork butt roast, add 1/3 cup chopped "bark" for extra flavor.

Typical Day's Menu

What I might eat in a normal day:

Breakfast:

Shredded Wheat & Bran, or Grape Nuts, or Fiber One, or bacon and eggs. Recently, I found a whole-wheat pancake mix that's great (with sugar-free syrup, of course).

Lunch:

Usually, a chef's salad or grilled chicken salad with a no-sugar dressing I've made at home. Some commercially available dressings contain 1 gram or less sugar per serving, you just have to look for them. Paul Newman's Newman's Own Original is 1 gram sugar per serving, his Balsamic Vinaigrette is good, and most of the Cardini brand dressings are 0 grams.
Sandwich with real whole-wheat bread. Most store-bought whole-wheat breads use half whole-wheat/half enriched flour - not acceptable.

Mid-afternoon:

Apple or orange. Yes, there's sugar in them, but you're not eating it with anything else, so there's not a problem. Bananas and raisins, however, are a still a no-no.

Dinner:

Almost anything, keeping sugar and carbohydrate content in mind. Some examples:

Whole-wheat pasta with a sauce containing 1 gram or less sugar per serving.
Mexican dish using whole-wheat tortillas.
Chinese dish using brown rice (white rice unacceptable).
Cheeseburgers with whole-wheat buns (or no buns).
Broiled or baked chicken or fish.
Steak, salad, and baked sweet potato (ironically, the high fiber content of the sweet potato makes it an acceptable food.)
Grilled or boiled seafood and steamed veggies (no carrots or potatoes, though).

Dessert:

Sugar-free Popsicle, or sugar-free Jello. There's a no-sugar-added Klondike bar, too.

Evening:

Cheese.
Some dry-roasted or mixed nuts.
A nice Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, or Shiraz (red wine, in moderation, is acceptable).

There are many more things you can eat besides these, my main point here is to illustrate, in a few examples, that you don't have to starve on this diet. But, this doesn't mean you can sit down and eat unlimited quantities of the foods that are acceptable, either. You are trying to lose weight, aren't you?

The trick of this diet is not to eliminate foods from your diet so much as it is to find readily available sugar-free or complex carbohydrate substitutes for them. I like to make my own whole-wheat bread and pasta, even though some store-bought versions are acceptable, and have even made whole-wheat tortillas when I couldn't find them at the grocery.

You can dine out and still maintain this diet (I don't mean fast food). You just have to learn the few things that aren't acceptable and try to substitute for them if you can.

What's really neat is that we still observe the weekly pizza night. I make whole-wheat pizza dough and bring it to the pizzeria. Other than the sauce, most pizza ingredients are no-sugar. I just ask for light sauce. And it tastes great. (It also re-heats better than regular crust.)

Eating Out

New Orleans-area restaurants and businesses that support Sugar Busters:

Bayou Bagelry 3535 Severn Ave, Metairie, LA 70002-3446 (504)888-6400 has whole-wheat bagels, on which you can have a variety of breakfast and sandwich selections prepared.

Byblos Market 2020 Veterans Blvd, Metairie, LA 70002-6317 (504)837-9777 has whole-wheat wraps for gyros, and sells them frozen as well.

Copeland's 1001 S Clearview Pkwy, Jefferson, LA 70121-1008 (504)733-7843 and other locations. The steaks are great, and they will substitute sweet potato french fries for the baked potato.

Dorignac's 710 Veterans Memorial Blvd, Metairie, LA 70005-2884 (504)834-8216 stocks the Sugar Buster-approved line of bakery items.

The Galley Seafood Restaurant 2535 Metairie Rd, Metairie, LA 70001-5444 (504)832-0955 offers whole-wheat flour and other whole-wheat substitutes for Sugar Busters. The pecan catfish dinner, with sweet potato fries is killer.

Jalapeno's Mexican Cafe 2320 Veterans Memorial Blvd, Metairie, LA 70002-6216 (504)837-6696 offers an entire menu section of low-sugar selections, and wheat tortilla chips to munch on.

Lone Star Steakhouse 901 S Clearview Pkwy, Jefferson, LA 70121-3121 (504)736-0140 also helps out Sugar Busters, offering baked sweet potatoes.

Luther's Barbecue 2750 Severn Ave, Metairie, LA 70002-5937 (504)888-6370 and other locations, while not directly supporting SB, can be enjoyed without the barbecue sauce (the turkey, sausage, and pork are usually fine without it), you can order a tossed salad, and there are green beans (not on the menu) available as a second side item.

Piccadilly Cafeteria 2222 Clearview Pkwy, Metairie, LA 70001-2437 (504)454-6271 and other locations, has several selections in all categories that fit Sugar Busters. You'll have to take the sugar-free Jello� if you want dessert, though.

Rouse's Super Market 5245 Veterans Memorial Blvd, Metairie, LA 70006-5122 (504)885-2022 has a section filled with SB items. They also feature several prepared SB entrees in the deli. Check out the wine department while you're there.

Semolina International Pastas 5080 Pontchartrain Blvd, New Orleans, LA 70118-2672 (504)486-5581 and other locations offers whole-wheat spaghetti or penne pasta, as well as a low-sugar marinara sauce. There's also a whole-wheat garlic-cheese bread that could leave you too full for dinner.

Wrap n' Roll Cafe 1229 Veterans Memorial Blvd, Metairie, LA 70005-2730 (504)840-9727 offers Sugar Buster wraps and whole-wheat pasta (Sadly, they recently closed. Al Copeland, we're counting on you to make up for it at your other restaurants).

Zea Rotisserie Grill 1655 Hickory Ave, Harahan, LA 70123-2114 (504)738-0799 owned by the Semolina folks, has whole-wheat penne, wheat wraps, and many Sugar Buster items.

Zuppardo's Economical Super Market 5010 Veterans Memorial Blvd, Metairie, LA 70006-5121 (504)887-1150 has (had?) a 16-foot shelf filled with all SB-friendly items. They also feature prepared SB entrees and side items in the deli section.

SugarBusters

Eat well and don't gain weight! Even better than that, eat well and lose weight and lower your cholesterol!

How? you ask. Well, first, a little history:

Fighting-- and mostly losing-- the "battle of the bulge" for most of my life, I've been up and down the bathroom scale a half dozen times through the years. It didn't seem like I was eating all that much, no more than other people, but the pounds would still accumulate.

I blame the invention of Doritos�, around age eight, for first contributing to my becoming a fat little kid. Well, maybe that and an early interest in cooking-- I was the only kid I knew who watched the Galloping Gourmet. My mother said I could always take a leftover piece of chicken and whatever was in the cupboard and concoct something actually pretty good out of it. I have to admit I did like good food.

In high school, the acquisition of a ten-speed bicycle-- which I rode endlessly, a pretty decent growth spurt -- about 10 inches in a year, and the fact that Mom was on Weight Watchers and cooking only from their menus contributed to the loss of most of the weight I had gained since third grade.

After moving to New Orleans from the Midwest, and the exposure to a whole new, wonderful cuisine-- not to mention the introduction to the college bar scene-- the weight started gradually sneaking back. Again, no big increase in the amount of food I was eating, but the jeans kept getting tighter.

Throughout adulthood, the little roller-coaster of love handles continued. I learned never to throw away those old clothes-- I never knew when I might fit in them again. I have jeans with waist sizes from 31 to 38 inches.

So, here's the scoop. Recently, I've found something that not only works, but quite possibly is a way of eating that I may be able to comfortably continue the rest of my life. No gimmicks, no starvation, no odd-ball regimens, no shakes, powders, or bars, and no drugs. The diet is called Sugar Busters-- you may have heard of it-- and it's key is the interesting way the body deals with sugar and carbohydrates.

In only four months, with only a few modifications to what I eat and when I eat it, I've lost over 30 pounds, and it's still dropping. Shirts I haven't been able to wear in years fit again, and I've moved from the second hole on my belt to the fifth.
(3/98 update - After 18 months, continuing to follow Sugar Busters, I am still maintaining at 35 pounds under my pre-diet weight.)
(8/99 update - Coming up on 3 years, and still maintaining at 35-40 pounds under my pre-diet weight.)
(12/2000 update - Over 4 years, and still maintaining.)

The premise is simple, if you understand what is sugar, and how the body responds to it. When you consume a meal, sugar and carbohydrates (which the body quite handily converts to sugar) cause an increase in blood-sugar (glucose) levels. The body's response to this is to release insulin. A little-known side-effect of insulin is to signal the body to store fat.

Another hormone your body produces is called glucagon. Glucagon can, under the right circumstances, promote the mobilization of previously stored fat, but it is heavily supressed by - you guessed it - glucose!

Therefore, if you eliminate the consumption of sugar with other foods, and keep your intake of carbohydrates low, the insulin effect is foiled. It all has to do with something known as foods' glycemic index. For a more technical explanation of this phenomenon, and the reasons whole wheat and brown rice are O.K. and white flour and white rice are not, please (I insist) check out the authors' website at www.sugarbusters.com, since I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.

And it does make sense. All those times in the past that the pounds were adding up, there were abundant sugars and carbohydrates. Corn chips, potato chips, sauces, popcorn, french fries, most alcoholic beverages are full of them. A lot of foods considered healthy are full of them: corn, carrots, potatoes, beets, white rice, white flour. It's important to realize that sugar does not just come from a bag marked Domino.

p.s. What I find truly interesting, now that I read the product ingredients and Nutrition Facts labels on everything I buy, is the "healthy" foods that tout low fat or fat-free on their labels. Check the sugar content of those products against the sugar content of their "regular" counterparts. You'll be shocked at what you find. You'll stop counting fat grams and start counting grams of sugar.

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Barbecue Bulletin' - Pork Loin End Roast

I looked at 3 groceries trying to find a nice boneless pork loin roast to do, with no success. So I settled on a pork loin end roast. Not my favorite-- it has that weird bone-- but I wanted to try brining it.

The day is partly cloudy, 65�, with a light breeze. The night before, I brined the 4.6 pound roast in a solution seasoned with crab boil, like I did the last turkey.

At 11:25am, I lit a Weber chimney-full of leftover charcoal, which took about 20 minutes to get going. At 11:45am, I poured the lit charcoal into the charcoal ring and added another Weber chimney-full of fresh unlit briquets. When they got going, in about another 15 minutes, I assembled the Bullet, putting the foil-covered water pan in place-- adding a gallon of cool tap water-- and leaving out the middle cooking grate. With the bottom vents each open one third, the temperature rose to 425�. I closed the vents down to 30/0/0% to bring the cooker down to my target cooking temperature of 225-250�.

At 12:30pm, the cooker had dropped to 325�, and I placed the roast on the top rack, along with a rack of pork spare ribs in a rib rack. Fifteen minutes later-- when I noticed no smoke coming from the Bullet-- I placed 2 chunks hickory wood and one of oak on top of the coals.

Over the course of the five and a half hour cook, temperatures were reasonably manageable, and stayed in the 225-250� range. I basted the roast at the 3-hour mark, and also turned the ribs. Around 4:00pm, I added some hot water to replenish the pan.

Around 5:00pm, I again turned and basted. The roast read 156� internal-- my target being 161. I decided to leave the ribs on at this point, even though, on previous cooks, I had usually only cooked them a total of 4-1/2 hours. This proved to be a good decision, as the extra time rendered out quite a bit more fat, and the ribs were not the least bit greasy. fifteen minutes before I removed them, I glazed them liberally with my homemade sauce.

What have we learned? Let them ribs cook!

Next time, Rib Half Pork Loin Roast.

Barbecue Bulletin' - Christmas Day Turkey

It's Christmas Day and I'm doing my turkey on the Bullet (of course). The day is partly cloudy, 45�, with a very light breeze.

At 10:00pm the night before, I brined a 9.6 pound bird using a previously prepared and refrigerated solution containing a gallon of vegetable broth into which I dissolved 1 cup Kosher salt, and 3 Tbsp. of liquid Louisiana crab boil. For those of you unfamiliar with the stuff, crab boil is available as either a bag of seasonings to be used in boiling crabs and other seafoods like shrimp and crawfish, or as a convenient liquid. The seasonings it contains include clove, allspice, pepper, and bay. I placed the bird breast side down into a 3 gallon plastic bucket, and poured in equal amounts of my gallon of brine solution, and of ice water until the bird was completely submerged-- about 1-1/2 gallons combined. I placed the bucket in the refrigerator until just before lighting the Bullet the next day-- a total of about 14 hours.

At 12:00noon Christmas Day, I lit a Weber chimney-full of charcoal, which took about 25 minutes to get going. While I waited, I removed the turkey from the brine, patted it dry, coated it entirely with canola oil, and sprinkled on some rub. I quartered a lemon and half a large onion, and placed them in the cavity. At 12:25pm, I poured the lit charcoal into the charcoal ring and added another Weber chimney-full of unlit briquets. When they got going, in about another 15 minutes, I assembled the Bullet, putting the foil-covered water pan in place-- empty-- and leaving out the middle cooking grate. With the bottom vents each open halfway, the temperature quickly rose to 500�. I closed the vents down to 50/0/0% to bring the cooker down to my target cooking temperature of 350�.

At 12:55pm, the cooker had dropped to 425�, and I placed the bird on the top rack. I placed 1 chunk each of apple, pecan, and hickory on top of the coals. I waited until an hour into the cook to insert my new Taylor thermometer probe once the cooker stabilized at 350 or below. I did this to avoid damaging the probe, which is rated to a high of 392�.

Five minutes after placing the bird in the Bullet, the temp was down to 300�. Not in the mood to battle getting the temp up like at Thanksgiving, I opened all the vents to 100%. The temp hit 320 in about 15 minutes and stayed steady for almost an hour.

At 2:05pm, the temp rose to 350, and, by 2:30pm was at 370. I set all the vents down to 50%. The Bullet dropped to and hung at around 330� until 3:00pm, at which time the bird was done.

What have we learned? I think this was a pretty uneventful cook, which was a good thing. See Notes from this cook. The turkey turned out great-- I will use the crab boil again next time. I also think that, when the Bullet tops out at 500� after assembling it, I will put the bird on at that point and then work to stabilize the temps down to my target cooking range. I think this will have a beneficial effect of crisping the skin, and may speed up the cooking process as well.

Next time, Pork Loin End Roast.

Barbecue Bulletin' - Smoked Cheese

Full size pictures from this cook.

OK, so it's not barbecue, but it is another cool thing you can do with the Bullet. It takes virtually no fuel-- a great use for leftover briquets-- and one small chunk of smoke wood.

I used a bottomless tin can as a miniature charcoal starter chimney. I crumpled some newspaper and set a few leftover coals on top. This didn't work so well, as the coals fell away from eachother as the paper burned. I ended up using a high-temperature torch-type cigar lighter to get one of the larger briquets started. When the coals started getting hot, I set a piece of pecan wood on top and waited for the smoke to start.

I built a platform for the cheese out of a rectangle of doubled heavy foil, and the rack from a small Nesco roaster. I figured if the cheese softened, it wouldn't drip thru the grate and make a mess. The rack allowed smoke to circulate under the cheese. You can see the piece of pecan wood I used sitting next to the rack.

I smoked three different cheses, using approximately a half pound slab each of mild cheddar, Swiss, and provolone. I kept them refrigerated until the smoke started, at which time I placed them on the rack.

I had to monitor the cheese frequently (Notes), as the idea here is to make a lot of smoke, but not a lot of heat.

I used the Polder thermometer to monitor the temp, inserting it in the special tube I had installed last time. I wanted to try to keep the Bullet under 90�, but it ended up running around 98 to as high as 114. It didn't seem to matter-- nothing melted, and the cheese was cool to barely luke warm to the touch.

After ninety minutes, with the fuel exhausting, I removed the cheese and placed it in the refrigerator. I took the cheese to a party later that night. The general consensus was that it was a little too smoky. The mild cheddar was the best; the Swiss was just OK; the provolone didn't benefit from that much smoke. Next time, I will try just 30 minutes and see how that does. Clean up was fairly easy-- nothing to do but empty a little ash from the bowl.

Update: The following day all the cheeses developed an unpleasant taste due to the overly long smoke. 90 minutes was definitely overkill.

Next time, Christmas Day Turkey.

Barbecue Bulletin' - Thanksgiving Day Weber Webcast

Full size pictures from this cook.

It's Thanksgiving Day, 2002 and I'm doing my holiday turkey on the Bullet. The day is partly cloudy, 48°, and breezy. Those of you who tuned in may have seen a first-- this cook was webcast live from my patio via Earthcam TV.

The night before, I brined the 11.7 pound bird using a previously prepared and refrigerated solution containing a gallon of chicken broth into which I dissolved 1 cup Kosher salt, 1 Tbsp. Black peppercorns, 1/2 Tbsp. candied ginger, and 1/2 Tbsp. allspice berries, the last three of which I ground in a mortar to speed their dissolution.

At 10:00pm, I placed the bird breast side down into a 3 gallon plastic bucket. This bucket originally contained tropical fish food, so I know it's safe to use. I poured in 1/2 of my gallon of brine solution, and 1/2 gallon of ice water. I continued to add equal parts brine solution and ice water until the bird was completely submerged. The good thing about this bucket is that it will easily hold a 10-14 pound bird, and it will fit in my refrigerator.

At 10:45am Thanksgiving Day, I lit a Weber chimney-full of charcoal, which took about 30 minutes to get going. While I waited, I removed the turkey from the brine, patted it dry, brushed it entirely with canola oil, and sprinkled on some rub. I also steeped a quartered apple and half a large onion, and placed them in the cavity. At 11:15am, I poured the lit charcoal into the charcoal ring and added another Weber chimney-full of unlit briquets. When they got going, in about another 30 minutes, I assembled the Bullet, putting the foil-covered water pan in place-- empty-- and leaving out the middle cooking grate. With the bottom vents each open halfway, the temperature quickly rose and stabilized at 425°. I closed the vents down to 50/50/0% to try to bring the cooker down to 350°.

At 12:00noon, the cooker had dropped to 350°, and I placed the bird on the top rack. I inserted my Polder thermometer probe into the thickest part of the breast, not touching bone. I placed 2 chunks of apple and 2 chunks of pecan wood on top of the coals.

To monitor the cooker temp, I modded the Bullet the day before by installing a short length of aluminum tubing into one of the bolt holes on the side of the cooker. This is a great little mod, because you can monitor the temp at the top grate, but without having to drill a hole in the Bullet. The inset shows the detail of the tube and clip which secures it.

Opening the cooker and placing a 53°, 11.7 pound object inside really had an effect on the temperature. The Bullet dropped to 250°. In the next half hour, it rose to 300°. In an effort to get it up to 350, I set the vents 100/100/30% open. At 12:45pm, the bird registered 96° internal.

By 1:30pm, the temp had dropped to 280, and I set the vents all to wide open. This was a bit frustrating because we were to take the finished bird to friends' house for dinner at 3:00pm. At 1:45pm, I stirred the coals to try to rejuvenate the fire. I also took the opportunity to baste the bird and cover the wing tips with foil to prevent their burning. The bird registered 120° internal.

By 2:00pm, the temp was up to 300°, but if I was to make my deadline, I really needed 350°. At 2:15pm, I added 10 unlit briquets on top of the coals. By 2:30pm, I was up to 340, and by 2:45pm achieved 350. I phoned our hosts and told them we would be pulling out of our driveway at 3:00pm rather than into theirs-- it wasn't a problem. At 3:00pm on the dot, the bird hit 161° internal. I spot checked the other breast-- which coincided-- and the thigh, which registered 185. Whew!

I wrapped the bird in heavy foil, placed it in towels in an ice chest, and off we went. Ninety minutes later, when I unwrapped the bird, it was still steamy hot. The aroma permeating the room got everyone's attention. I don't think it could have turned out any better. Our host had also done a turkey-- soaked overnight in Louisiana crab boil, and then deep-fried. While the fried bird was very tasty, most guests-- and the host himself, who is not a smoked turkey fan-- preferred my smoke roasted bird. (Yeah!)

What made this meal extra special-- besides the great company and great food-- was the wine selection. We started off before dinner with appetizers and a 1999 Sterling California Vintner's Collection Chardonnay Central Coast. With a salad of baby greens tossed with red grapes, pecans, bleu cheese, and a balsamic, terragon, and chervil vinaigrette, we chose a 2001 Kendall-Jackson California Sauvignon Blanc. Dinner consisted of the two birds, various sides including ambrosia, oyster dressing, candied yams, baked macaroni and cheese, the ubiquitous green bean casserole, and a German-style warm potato salad I make using sweet potatoes instead of white. With dinner, we had a 1990 Mt. Veeder Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley -- which complemented the smoked bird nicely-- followed by a 1991 Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley. Unfortunately, the 1990 Robert Mondavi Napa Cab Unfiltered was a goner, even though it had been properly cellared. Win some, lose some...

After dessert and coffee, everyone headed home stuffed, with plenty of leftovers in hand.

What have we learned? Once again, you gotta roll with the punches-- expect the unexpected. Even though I had plenty of fuel left at the end of the cook, I still had to kick the fire in the butt with some extra coals to hit my target of 350°. With the vents wide open, the temp should have run too high rather than low. In retrospect, I failed to consider the breeze pulling some degree of heat out of the cooker. See my Notes from today's cook. This was my first cook with an outdoor temp in the low 50's-- a much different animal than a sunny 80° day. I'll be ready next time, though...

Next time, smoked cheese.

Barbecue Bulletin' - A Complex and Ambitious Cook

Full size pictures from this cook.

This time I'm doing a Boston Butt, a rack of pork spares, and some gourmet sausages. I intend to put the butt on first and cook at a grate temp of 250-255�. Then, about 3 hours in, I will add the spares, and finally the sausages for about the last 2 hours. I'm getting started late this time, but hope the higher temp on the butt in the beginning will speed things up a little, and I can be finished by 6:00pm. The day is partly cloudy, 83�, and breezy.

I used the alternate method to fire the Bullet. At 10:30am, I lit 21 briquets in the chimney, and within 15 minutes they were ready. During that time, I prepped the 4lb. butt by removing the cap of fat (seen at left in picture), coating it in spicy brown mustard, and giving it a good rub. I purchased the meat just prior to the cook and, at the time the butt went on the cooker, it had been off refrigeration for about 90 minutes.

At 10:45am, I filled the charcoal ring full and spread the lit coals on top. I assembled the Bullet, and filled the water pan with very hot tap water. This method differs from the conventional firing method in that you are trying to bring the Bullet up to temperature, rather than down, before putting the meat on. Starting with hot water in the pan accelerates the temperature rise because energy is not lost heating up the water. An added benefit of this method is that you "get cooking" much sooner than if you waited for the entire amount of charcoal to catch fire.

By 11:00am, the temp was up to 210� and I added the butt to the top grate. I placed 2 fist-sized chunks of hickory and one of oak on top of the charcoal. At 11:30am, the temp had climbed to 273�, and I set the bottom vents to 25% each. By 11:45am the temp dropped to 266, and the vents were set to 50% each. I was in the range where I wanted to be, figuring the temp measured thru the vent to be 15� higher than the temp at the top grate.

Right after putting the butt on, I prepped the ribs. The membrane was intact, but the skirt had already been removed and was not in the package. I removed the membrane and trimmed the rack as shown in the picture, removing the sections at left and upper left. The two pieces at top right were in the package when I opened it. After rubbing, I placed the ribs in the refrigerator to await their time to go in the cooker.

At 1:30pm, I set the ribs out of the refrigerator, in anticipation of starting them at 2:00pm. The Bullet was holding relatively steady this cook, and I was hoping to get the ribs on, mop the butt, and quickly close the Bullet back up without causing a temperature spike.

At 2:00pm, I turned and mopped the butt, and placed the rolled and skewered ribs next to it on the top grate. The miscellaneous rib trimmings went on the middle grate. You can see thru the open access door that there was still quite a bit of unburnt charcoal. A spot check of the butt showed it was averaging 160� internal. Opening the Bullet and adding the ribs took about 5 minutes total. There was no temperature spike, but the remaining smoke wood revived-- a good thing for the ribs. By 2:15pm, the temp was registering 251� thru the lid.

The temp was slow to rebound after opening the Bullet at 2:00pm, but did not appear to present a problem since the butt was well on its way at 160� internal, aiming towards 190 with 4 hours to go. At 2:45pm, the Bullet was at 253�, measured thru the lid, which I figured was fine for the ribs and should also keep the butt on course.

At 4:00pm, I turned/mopped the butt, which registered 165� internal, and flipped/rotated and basted the ribs. I added the fresh gourmet sausages to the top grate-- a pound each of chicken/spinach/feta and chicken/black bean/lime/tequila.

My "ambitious and complex" plan was for everything to be done at 6:00pm-- 7 hours for the butt, 4 hours for the ribs, and 2 hours for the sausages. Bearing in mind that I was cooking at a target grate temp of 250-255� instead of the usual 212-225, I figured these times would be about right.

At 4:35pm, I stirred the coals-- the temp still hadn't rebounded too well from the 4:00pm opening. The photo of the coals shows quite a bit has been consumed-- more than anticipated. At 4:45pm, with the temp still reading 253�, and all bottom vents fully open, I added 12 additional unlit briquets.

At 5:15pm, I again turn/mopped/basted and checked the butt for doneness. It varied from 169 to 181. Visual inspection of the sausages revealed they had a ways to go. I was happy to see the reflected glowing of the added briquets down on the inside of the Bullet. Even at an average measurement of 253�, I'm still cooking at around 239, which is not where I wanted to be, but OK.

Then, at 5:30pm, boom!-- just that quick-- it's reading 294�. I closed down the vents to compensate. In 15 minutes, I was back to 253�.

At 5:45pm, coming down the home stretch, the ribs passed the tear test, and I glazed them with a little finishing sauce. The sausages read 190-- ouch! too high-- and I pulled them off. They had only been exposed to the temperature spike for a short time, so it didn't end up being a problem. The butt read from 172-183� internal-- the various muscles in a pork butt tend to cook at different rates, much like light and dark poultry meat. As long as I see about 172� minimum, I'm happy.

At 6:00pm, as hoped for, everything was done. I wrapped the butt in heavy foil to rest, and had some ribs and sausages for dinner. Notes from this cook.

After dinner, around 7:00pm, I pulled the pork butt, which had minimal fat left, and a very small bone from which the meat separated cleanly.

I left clean-up until the next morning. I awoke to the sound of rain at about 4:00am, and thought about the previous cook in the rain. The Bullet wasn't exposed to more than about 20 minutes of moderate rain that time, but this time it had to be a couple of hours-- I should have left the umbrella up. When I got up and went out to start the cleaning, there was a slurry of ash and water in the charcoal bowl that I would guesstimate to be about a half gallon. The leftover coals were dry, though.

What have we learned? This cook went pretty well, I think. All in all, everything turned out great. Using the alternate firing method, I found the temps to be fairly stable and easier to control, and I think I will use this technique next time. I would have done better to add fewer briquets near the end. In hindsight, I should have considered their potential to catch fire in about 15 minutes, and closed the vents earlier in anticipation of the spike they ultimately caused. I now know that the 2/3 of a chimney-full added on the last cook was way too much, and explains why things got so out of control. A little freshly-lit charcoal goes a long way to heat things up.

On a final note, I read somewhere about someone having supposedly-extinguished coals reignite upon their exposure to oxygen. This cook had a fair amount of leftover coals that I wanted to reuse, but I had a real problem walking out of the house the next morning with that story on my mind-- a galvanized bucket full of spontaneously burning charcoal in my garage was a frightening thought. I wrapped the bucket up in a large trash bag, tied it tight and set it outside.

Tune in next time-- literally-- for the Thanksgiving Day Weber WebCast Turkey Roast.

Barbecue Bulletin' - Boston Butt

Full size pictures from this cook.

It's been a month since my last cook (sounds like something you'd hear at a BBQ Anonymous meeting). So far, I've done chicken, ribs, gourmet sausage, brisket, pork loin roast, and even a chuck roast (the last three in the pre-Bullet days on the old cheapo smoker). This time I'm trying Boston butt.

I remembered, from last time, that I didn't want to use leftover charcoal to start the fire. (I've thought more about this subject since then, and have decided the real problem was that I stored the leftover charcoal in the chimney, inside the bullet, outside on the patio-- humidity was the culprit.) Since this is really only half a Boston butt I'm cooking, I will fire the Bullet using regular methods. Alternate firing methods include spreading a relatively small amount of hot coals atop a bed of unlit charcoal, and letting them gradually ignite the rest. At 3.85 lbs, this half a butt won't take as long as a whole, so I won't need to fire the cooker for an extended period.

I prepped the butt the day before, trimming excess fat, and using a combination of yellow and brown mustards to coat the butt before giving it a good rub.

As far as rub goes, I usually just improvise mixture of paprika, cayenne, black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder and cumin to taste.

At 9:00am, I lit a full chimney of briquettes, which took a half hour to get going, and set the meat out to take the chill off it. At 9:30, I added the lit coals to the charcoal ring and added another unlit chimney-full on top of them. At 9:55am, the fire was going well and I assembled the Bullet, placing the butt on the top rack, and two 4lb. chickens on the middle grate. I used two chunks of hickory and one of oak. The temp registered 320�, but, by 10:25, had dropped down to 240, which is where I wanted to be. The temp measured through the top vent is usually about 10 to 15 degrees higher than that at the actual top cooking grate level. I cracked the bottom vents each to about 10% open.

At 11:00am, the sky opened up and poured rain for about 20 minutes. The temp dropped to 208, and I was holding my breath that it wouldn't drop further. As I watched water run down the dome lid and sides of the Bullet, I wondered why the designers didn't make the pieces fit the other way around-- that is to say why the dome didn't fit over the body, and why didn't the body fit over the charcoal bowl, instead of the opposite. Water had to be seeping into the Bullet. The answer, of course, is that what drips down the inside of the Bullet would then seep out, and drip down the outside. Guess the Weber people know what they're doing after all, and I need to go buy a big umbrella. I learned from this experience that quick temperature drops call for equally quick reactions; I opened all the bottom vents all the way, and, within 15 minutes, was back up to 239.

At 12:10pm, the temp showed signs of declining, so I stirred the coals a little. As I did, I could hear a sizzling in the bottom of the Bullet, and knew that I had rainwater in the charcoal bowl. How much was the question, but I was not inclined to disassemble everything to find out. Over the next hour and a half, the temp hung around 237�, and would not go higher, even with the vents wide open. Maybe the water in the bottom was absorbing the heat? Did I have too little charcoal? Or both? At 1:15pm, I decided to light two-thirds of a chimney-full of charcoal to give myself some breathing room in case problems arose later.

At 1:45pm, I mopped the butt with a mixture of apple cider vinegar, water, and some rub, and checked internal temps on the meat. The butt was at 149�, the chicken breast was at 150. Not much more to go on the chicken, but 190� on the butt is a long way off. I think I needed to shoot for 250� cooking temp instead of 225. The extra charcoal was ready, and, even though the fire was showing signs of recovery, I decided to go ahead and add it. I was going to need a lot more time on the butt.

The added charcoal was a mixed blessing. I had a temperature spike-- to be expected-- when I added it, but the next three hours would prove most vexing. From 2:45pm on, it was all I could do to keep the temperature down, and, in contrast, the butt temperature rose so slowly, it looked like it was never going to reach 190�. The chickens, on the other hand, hit 160 around 3:10pm, and I hastily removed them in an effort to avoid more temperature problems. See my Notes from this cook.

At 3:30pm, it started to rain again, but I suddenly remembered I did indeed have a large umbrella tucked away in the garage. I dug it out and set it up. I used one of those thick rubber bands that comes on fresh broccoli to mount the Polder to the mast. Heck, I might even have to use this set-up, rain or shine, from now on.

Over the next hour and a half, I mopped the butt twice more. At 5:00pm, the butt was at 172�, where it had remained for the past 40 minutes. 172 is considered done, although, for pulled pork, 190 is considered optimal. I considered the options at this point-- I had read about Boston butt hitting temperature "plateaus" that seem to last forever-- and, at 8 hours total, decided to call it a day. I removed the butt and wrapped it in foil to rest.

What have we learned? This cook had its share of challenges, but I am the better for it, having learned many lessons-- the first being to check the weather before cooking. I also started with too little charcoal. The next time I do a Boston butt, I will use the alternate method of firing the Bullet mentioned above-- perhaps it will give me better control-- as it appears that even a small Boston butt takes a considerable amount of time. In the end, the meat was very good, and pulled easily enough. The chicken, as usual, was very tasty, but a little greasy-- the pork butt rendering fat over them certainly to blame. I think I will try the beer can method on my next chickens. To cook them standing up should help-- that and positioning them away from anything dripping from above.

Next time, a "complex and ambitious" cook including Boston butt, pork spare ribs and gourmet sausages.

Barbecue Bulletin' - A Small Cook

Full size pictures from this cook.

A few weeks have passed since my last cook. We had a tropical storm pass through last weekend, so my attention was more on preservation of property. I am happy to say no damage occured, and the Bullet made it through just fine, lashed to the fence by the patio.

This time, I only did a small cook. I still had a lot left in the freezer from last time, but it was insisted I do some more gourmet sausages, since we were out. Rummaging thru the freezer, I found some boneless chicken thighs, so I defrosted them and gave them a good rub.

I had about a chimney full of leftover coals from the last cook, so at about 1:45pm, I fired it up, adding 15 new briquets to top it off. It took about 45 minutes to get going. I think all new charcoal lights up faster, so there appears to be a trade-off in re-using unburnt charcoal pieces.

I assembled the Bullet, poured in the hot coals, and opened all the vents. Since this was to be a short cook, I only added about 2 quarts of water to the pan. In about 15 minutes the temp was up to 335�F. I shut all the bottom vents and waited for the temperature to drop down to around 260.

At 3:00pm, I arranged everything on the top grate and left the bottom grate out. No sense cleaning what you don't have to. This time I used one small chunk of peach wood for smoke.

To monitor the temperature, I drilled out a wine cork, tapered it to fit into one of the top vent holes, and placed the Polder probe through it.

At 3:30pm the temp had dipped to 220�F, so I cracked open the bottom vents halfway each. By 3:45pm, the temp appeared to stabilize at 230. The day was 78�, cloudy-bright with little or no wind, which helped maintain stable temps. At 230�F, I expected the sausages to take about 2 hours. And, since the chicken was boneless, it was expected to finish about the same time.

The sausages didn't need basting or turning, but I did turn and baste the chicken with apple cider vinegar at around 4:15pm, and again around 4:45pm.

At 4:45pm, I checked the sausages and chicken for doneness by inserting the Polder probe directly into the meats. The sausage was at 154, and the chicken measured 160-ish. The cooker temp had dropped to 226, so I gave the coals a little stir, and opened the bottom vents all the way. I wanted the sausages to reach 160, and the chicken needed to hit 180.

At 5:00pm, the cooker was up to 250�, so I set the bottom vents down to a third open each. My observation for this cook was that the Bullet reacted quickly to vent settings given the day's conditions.

At 5:15pm, I checked for doneness. The sausages had reached 168, so I removed them. The chicken still registered in the 160's, but I believe the small, thin pieces quickly lost temperature just from opening the cooker. To be sure, I basted and left them on another 30 minutes. I covered the sausages with heavy foil to await suppertime.

The sausages were great, and the chicken ended up being fine and very tasty.

What have we learned? This was a pretty uneventful cook--no real problems. Next time, I'll use the leftover coals again, but not to start the fire. I'll add them in small amounts as additional fuel if necessary.

Next time: Boston Butt.

Barbecue Bulletin' - The First Big Cook

Here's a step-by-step tour through the first big cook.

Full size pictures from this cook.

I bought 2 packs of pork spares for this cook, one each from two different locations of the same supermarket chain. One was labeled as "previously frozen", but they looked good, and the price was right ($2.39/lb.), so I decided to try them. The second pack was fresh, and had a sell-by date 3 days away. Even so, they were labeled "Manager's Special 25% Off". This made them $1.87/lb. Having worked in grocery for a brief period, I know stores routinely mark down overstock meat well in advance of its sell-by date. Stop by your favorite supermarket's meat department every day for a week, and you'll find some great deals for your effort. Be ready to use or freeze what you get, though.

If you look closely at the picture above, you can see the top slab after I trimmed it, and removed the membrane. The second slab, nearer the camera, came with the skirt meat and membrane already removed. The skirt meat was not in the package, but the trimmed sternum meat was. Just shows the variation you can expect, even from the same company.

Both slabs had an excess of end meat that needed to be trimmed. Leaving it on would only result in dry, over-cooked ends. Separate, it will cook faster, and the cooker (me) can have a little taste treat before the end of the cook. This pic shows the trimmed slab, and the sternum meat that was included in the pack is at center right.

Here are the two slabs after being smeared with mustard and then nicely coated with my homemade rub. I will rub them again tomorrow, just before cooking.

To save space in the fridge, I rolled the two slabs up and placed them in a large plastic bowl. All the trimmings and skirt meat, which were also coated with rub, were placed in the middle of the rolled ribs. I covered the bowl with plastic wrap, and then secured the wrap with foil.

It's very important, after handling any raw meat, to clean up the prep area, cutting board, and utensils with plenty of soap and hot water.

Tomorrow, on to the cook!

At 10:30am, I lit a chimney full of charcoal. I'm trying to get an earlier start this week, so that the meat will be done right at supper time.

At 11:10am, The chimney is ready, so I poured it into the charcoal ring, and added enough unlit charcoal to fill the ring about 3/4ths full. I used 2 chunks of hickory and a chunk of peach wood for this cook.

At 11:35am, with the coals burning well, I assembled the cooker and filled the water pan. To the middle grate, I added a fresh turkey breast that I purchased at the last minute, plus the various pieces of rib tips and skirt meat. I prepared the turkey by slipping my fingers between the skin and meat, and then pouring some rub into the pocket created. You can see the water pan, wrapped in foil, below the grate.

On the top grate, I put the two slabs of ribs, in a rib rack, and the remaining trimmings. In my hurry to get the cooker closed up, I failed to photograph the ribs going on the top grate, so this pic is from a little ways into the cook.

The initial temperature of the cooker was 287�F, so I closed all 3 bottom vents to slow the fire. By 11:55am, it was down to 260, and, by 12:10pm, it was down to 239. I cracked open one bottom vent to try to maintain 240.

By 12:20, it had risen to 249�F, and the next two hours proved to be a battle to keep the temperature down. Even with all bottom vents closed, it ran about 10� hotter than I wanted for about an hour.

At 2:30pm, three hours into the cook, I turned the ribs, basted with apple cider vinegar, and added a pound of fresh choriso sausage. The turkey registered 154�F internal temp at this point. I should have removed the skirt and end tips here. They ended up overdone. I can always chop them up for jambalaya, though.

From 2:45pm to 3:15pm, the temperature was right where I wanted, but, for some reason, started climbing up to 260, and would not come down, even with all bottom vents closed. At 4:00pm, the tear test indicated the ribs were pretty much done. The sausages had reached 170� internal temp, and were done. The turkey breast was at 165�F internal, and, since it's all white meat, was done-- it's the dark meat that needs to go all the way up to 180�F. I removed everything but the ribs, brushed the finishing sauce on them, and let them stay in the cooker an additional fifteen minutes.

By this time, it was 4:30pm, and my cook was done an hour earlier than planned. Those couple of periods of higher than desired temperatures had sped things up considerably. So, to put things on hold until later, I wrapped everything in heavy aluminum foil, and placed it all, wrapped in a large towel, in an ice chest. Ninety minutes later, it was still hot, and ready to enjoy.

What have we learned? I guess I would have to say expect the unexpected. Sometimes the BBQ gods throw you a curve and you just have to deal with it. Ten degrees too hot doesn't mean you get bad BBQ, it just means you get to eat it a little sooner. The turkey was tender and juicy, and I think I'll do a whole one for Thanksgiving. The ribs were fine. The only thing I would have done differently would be to remove the skirt and end meats earlier, and perhaps the sausages at about 160�F. Next time, I will reduce the amount of charcoal to see if that gives me better temperature control.

I used my Foodsaver� vacuum sealer on the leftovers, of which there were many. This was still an experimental cook, and, since I know smoked meats freeze well if properly packaged, I didn't mind.

After the Bullet cooled-- closing all the vents extinguishes the coals-- I reclaimed the unburnt charcoal for next time, and dumped the remaining ashes into a galvanized metal bucket, for later disposal.

For cleanup, I've developed a method: I soak the grates and rib rack in very hot water in the laundry sink for about an hour. A stiff vegetable brush removes the loosened gunk, and a grill scrubber pad brightens them back up. Then towel dry. The water pan is easy because it's wrapped in heavy foil inside and out-- the extra-wide foil is just wide enough for the Bullet water pan. I also use a couple of damp paper towels to wipe grease from the bottom lip of the dome lid, and from the top rim of the cooking section.

Next time, a smaller cook.

Barbecue Bulletin'

Barbecue Defined
First, let's take a moment to define barbecue. Cooking meat directly over a high temperature heat source is defined as grilling. Barbecue, on the other hand, is the practice of cooking:

typically (but not limited to) less-than-tender cuts of meat,
at low temperatures, between 212 and 250 degrees Fahrenheit,
for long cooking times, usually four or more hours,
preferably over a charcoal, or wood coal fired, indirect heat source,
typically including the additional burning of smoke woods to impart certain desired flavor characteristics,
the end result being tender and flavorful in a way not possible using higher temperatures and shorter cooking times.

History
I've had a cheap, no-name meat smoker sitting on the back porch for, oh, about 20 years. It was a freebie, so I never gave much thought to using it, except for once, and that was to grill some steaks. The fire flared up and burned the paint off of one side. After that, it pretty much served only to shelter nocturnal critters from the midday sun.

Some years later-- after attending a real barbecue, where the meat was cooked "low and slow" to succulent perfection-- I realized I needed to learn the ways of authentic barbecueing. My only experience trying to do barbecue had been a disaster. All I'll say about that episode is, if you don't know how to cook ribs, don't serve your first attempt to guests, and don't even think about using a gas grill.

Anyway, I got ambitious, cleaned up the old smoker, and gave it a shot. I was amazed that-- even flying blind on this old hunk of junk, putting my faith in the "LOW-IDEAL-HIGH" built-in "thermometer"-- it didn't turn out half bad. Certain it could be better, I set out to try to improve the results. After some web research, I found the answer in the form of the Weber Smoky Mountain Cooker, a/k/a the Weber Bullet.

Why the Bullet?

Weber Bullet	Offset Smoker
High quality under $200	$200+ unless you buy one with cheaper too-thin metal
Porcelain enamel inside and out-- Rust highly unlikely	Repainting necessary at some point-- Rust likely
Virtually airtight	Vents, doors, etc. not airtight
Cook to fit the amount of meat desired	Not worth firing up unless cooking large quantities
Great results right out of the box	Modifications almost mandatory for best results
High quality cover included	Cover optional, extra

Following the definition at the top of the page, we find that the part of the process that requires the most control is the maintenance of temperature in that given narrow range. It's pretty straightforward: fire needs fuel and oxygen. Reduce oxygen or take it away, and the fire burns fuel slower or goes out. Increase oxygen, and fire burns fuel more quickly, and hotter. If you have an adjustable means of regulating the amount of oxygen the fire gets, you can control the amount of heat generated, and, therefore, the cooking temperature. The Bullet accomplishes this task fairly well, by virtually closing off all sources of oxygen other than it's four vents-- three in the charcoal chamber, and one in the dome lid. All you need do is provide sufficient, properly ignited fuel in the beginning, monitor the temperature during the cook, and adjust the vents as necessary. It is also of benefit that the Bullet raises the charcoal up off the bottom of the cooker so that, as it burns down, the ash can fall away and not smother the burning coals.

In contrast, the no-name cheapo has no venting, save for the gap around the entire circumference of the charcoal pan, and the two small slits in the bottom of that pan. Using the old no-name on a windy day is pretty much a lost cause.

The biggest plus for me with the Bullet, though, is that I can get real barbecue results on a scale that fits my household. I don't need to cook large quantities of meat to justify the amount of fuel a larger pit would consume. But, if need be, I could easily do ribs for 16 to 20 people on it, too.

Why this Webpage?
I thought this online chronicle of my experiences BBQ'ing with the Weber Bullet would be of value, not only to me-- to help me better remember and be able to reexamine my methods-- but to others who might come across it and perhaps see something they may find useful. You will see from these pages that I'm no expert at this-- at this point, I'm only trying to put what I've read into practice-- but I hope, with experience, I'll become somewhat proficient.

Getting Started
Full size pictures from this cook.

I received my Bullet as a birthday gift. Available in stock from only one store in the entire metropolitan area, I was able to obtain my cooker fully assembled and in perfect condition, due to the fact that the store receives them via truck freight rather than via parcel delivery. I had to wait an extra week, though, as the store sold their last one the day before my birthday, and then received boxes of nails in error on their next order. No matter, it gave me a week to read up on some BBQ techniques.

The day before my inaugural cook on the Bullet, I did two things: I burned about a pound of charcoal and a chunk of hickory in the cooker, and I prepared some spareribs in advance for the next day. This accomplished the following: The smoker usually burns hotter than desired the first few times because the porcelain coating reflects heat back into the cooker. Giving it a four-hour dry run coated the interior with a layer of soot that will assist in absorbing and conducting excess heat out of the cooker. The ribs being rubbed the day before and spending the night in the fridge makes for better overall flavor. To make the rub stick better, I coated the ribs with a thin layer of yellow mustard first.

The next day, at noon, I filled a charcoal chimney with coals, lit two sheets of crumpled newspaper in the bottom to get it started, and gave it about 30 minutes to get going really well. I poured the hot coals into the Bullet's charcoal chamber and added an equal amount of unlit charcoal. I filled the cooker's water pan with cold tap water. I removed the ribs from the refrigerator at this point to take the chill off. At 1:00pm the coals were ready and I added the meat to the cooker. The 4 lb. slab of pork spareribs went on the top grate, and the attending ribtips and skirt meat on the middle grate. I placed two chunks of hickory-- about 2 by 2 by 3 inches each-- on top of the coals.

I found that a New Braunfels 3" thermometer I have would sort of thread into one of the holes in the top vent. To be extra certain, I placed the probe from my Polder Digital Thermometer/Timer through another of the vent's holes. At this point, I had the three bottom vents open halfway each, and the top vent was technically two-thirds open because the NB thermometer was filling one of the 3 holes. The Polder told me that the temperature about 3 inches above the top grate was 230 degrees, which is fine because that means that the temp at the grate should be around 225-- right in range. The NB gauge, however, read only 200 degrees, from a point about 3 inches higher up than the Polder-- the reverse of the expected scenario. So I went in the house, and boiled some water to test it. It read 212 dead on. Maybe the proximity to the vent caused it to read lower. Anyway, I decided, correctly, to trust the Polder.

For the first three hours, I monitored the temp frequently, even though I was only doing a single slab of ribs. The Bullet got to show its stuff for this initial cook-- at 1:00pm the weather was hot and sunny; at 1:30pm it sprinkled rain briefly and the sky remained overcast. Throughout these weather changes, the cooker's temp showed no noticeable variations. I had to improvise some rain protection for the Polder, though.

At 4:00pm, three hours into the cook, I opened the smoker for the first time, and basted the ribs by spraying them with apple cider vinegar. I also turned them over at this point. I additionally took the opportunity to add two pounds of fresh gourmet chicken sausages to the top grate. I added another chunk of smoke wood to make sure the sausages got their due.

At 5:30pm, I again turned and basted the ribs, checked them for doneness, and turned the sausages as well.

At 6:15pm, the ribs were done, so I brushed on some of my no-sugar-added homemade finishing sauce. Poking the Polder probe into one of the sausages showed it to be done at 165 degrees, so I removed them at this point. I let the ribs stay on for 15 more minutes, just to glaze the sauce, and then removed them and let them rest, loosely covered in foil, for about 15 additional minutes.

What have we learned? Trust in your thermometer, but check it for accuracy. Other than that, this cook was smooth sailing. These ribs were perfect-- tender and moist-- not falling-off-the-bone, but rather the meat pulled from the bone cleanly, as it should. And the sausage was an added bonus-- the slow smoke cooking really made them quite a treat. And best of all, it was all done the right way-- just consistent low and slow. I can't wait to fire this thing up again next weekend.

Go to next weekend.

No Sugar/No Salt Quick Barbecue Rub

2 parts Paprika
1 part Fine Black Pepper
1 part Cayenne (Red) Pepper
1 part Garlic Powder
1 part Onion Powder

Mix to taste to make about 1/4 cup of rub per 4 lb. slab of ribs.

No-Sugar-Added Barbecue Finishing Sauce

1 cup Estee Ketchup (No Sugar Added)
2 tsp. Fine Black Pepper
2 Tbsp. Worcestershire Sauce
2 Tbsp. Lemon Juice
1 tsp. Colgin Liquid Smoke (optional)

Mix all ingredients well, and heat in medium microwave oven until warm. Use as finishing sauce no sooner than last 30 minutes of cook, and as dipping sauce at the table.

Barbecue with a Bullet!

I've had a cheap, no-name meat smoker sitting on the back porch for, oh, about 20 years. It was a freebie, so I never gave it much thought. Never used it but once, and that was to grill some steaks. The fire flared up and burned the paint off of one side. After that, it pretty much served only to shelter nocturnal critters from the noon-day sun. My only other experience with barbecue was highly disastrous. All I'll say about that episode is, if you don't know how to cook ribs, don't even think about serving your first attempt to guests, and don't use a gas grill.

Some years later, after attending a real barbecue, where the meat is cooked "low and slow", I realized I needed to learn the ways of authentic barbecueing. I got ambitious, cleaned up the old smoker, and gave it a shot. I was amazed that, even for a trial run - on this old hunk of junk - it didn't turn out half bad. So, knowing it could be better, I set out to try to improve the results. After some web research, I found the answer in the form of the Weber Smoky Mountain Cooker, a/k/a the WSM or the Weber Bullet.

Learning the Art of Real Barbecue with the Weber Smoky Mountain Cooker